sometimes i just want to drop every extra activity i'm in and just go home after school do homework and listen to music. that would be it for my life and it would be so much easier. no stress about anything, no worrying about being out late, getting up early, skipping meals, trying to please everyone, memorizing lines and songs and music, and most of all trying to keep myself happy on top of it all. idk what i've gotten myself into but life right now is just really sucky and i have no escape. i was going to get some real help after break but i have no time to without having to drop the play and readers theater, which i can't do because i'd let too many people down or disappoint some one. i think thats going to be my new year's resolution, to stop trying to please everybody because i can't keep up with it  anymore. it just sucks. i just want to dissapear for a little while and see how things are when i come back, when i come back quietly. maybe i'd just observe a little before actually letting it be known that i'm back so i can see how everyone is first. but we all know thats impossible so i'll just have to grin and bear it.