hey... so right now...im super scared... i dunno why... but i feel like ima lose micheal... and he's not really doing anything different... im scared... its like one of those AHHH did he look at her? yeah... always nervous n shit... i think im going to tell him about it too... either that or ill avoid it, ya know? it's bound to go away sooner or later! i miss him... and im talking to him right now on the net... why am i so inscure? i think it's cuz i've been talkign to raychel (rachael) a lot lately... she's always talking about how all the guys she gets close to leave her! well yeah, it's happend before with steve and what if it happens with Micheal.... yeah, so i told him and he's kinda freakin out... i just don't wanna lose him... it's been 8 and a 1/2 months... that's nuts... its almost 3/4 a year! i have only had one relationship longer and that was a huge mistake... so... i don't always count that one... but there's something about him and it makes me feel so safe... usually... right now though, im sooo scared... anyways yeah... today was odd... we went to a movie in hastings and Charles came... yeah... yikes... odd ness... raychel didn't like the fact he was with cuz she thinks he's stupid... i dont even know... but me and micheal are trying to settle this... so i will talk to YOU later!!! 12am

oh shit... he wants to break up.... okay.... stuffs calmed down... i wish he was here so i could hug him and never let go... i need a shoulder like none other right now! okay... update in a couple.... 12:05am

Man, sometimes i really hate guyz... i just wanna crawl in a hole and die right now... life is hard... exspecially being a teenager... and in love:(  i hate this... i want my mom!:( she gives the best hugs... man... why's she gotta be gone tonight? damn it! 12:20am

okay... so i think we got through it... like we always do... thank god!!!! well yeah, ill talk toyou later! haha... latez 12:35am