Hmm... nope, its not peaceful day yet... yar... i guessed it ... i predicted it... so sad ...
Went out with him tdy, things were normal as usual thou a bit ermmm.... dunno leh... wierd wierd one la... but happi to see him.. heart soften the moment i see him... I realli realli love him alot ... Ryan... no place at all anymore
Go home, smsed him ... he refused to tell me what he had been considering. Hiaz... later he call me say maybe be friends ... arugh... my heart go crazy again. heart pump very fast. From sleeping mode to alert mode. But he did not give me a clear answer.... leave me hanging no where
At nite .. finally he called.. i already mentally broke down. I FORCED him to give me a reply... he say if he meets me tml, nothin is wrong btw us... if he dun meet me, its over btw us.... I couldnt take it le... i fear.. v great fear, what if he leave me? Am i able to be so strong?
Send him those SMS (prev page) at 1am... took me long time to think thru what i want to tell him. Scare will wake him up but juz want to let him know how i feel and tink...
Dear, if u get to read this diary... which means most likely we broke up le... i juz want to say .. I ruly love u.. no matter what happens, i still love u. If i had been defensive towards u.im sorry, i just protecting myself from gettin more hurt ... Im building a wall of defence .... i may be harsh,cold n watever... but deep down, i still love u .. and i dunno how long i need to let u go ... Loving u always