brian refered to andy as my boyfriend last night. i didnt know what to say.  me brian and his friend were in my car rollin a blunt  and andy, steve and chris were outside talking and me giving someone a ride came up and i was like what who am i giving a ride to and brian was liek ur boyfriend most likely, i was like what boyfriend and he looked at me and was like ummm andy. then he was like wait ur not with andy, i just looked at him all puzzled and was liek not that i know of. im kinda wondering where he got that from, maybe i fucked up when i said that. cuz i didnt hear what andy and them said after that or if they even heard me say that. i hope i didnt screw nothing up. brian seemed soooo lost and confused and what not when i said that me and him werent together. er maybe he was just making assumptions. hes not one to do that tho, atleast not the him that i knew back in like fuckign 8th grade. i dont know now. i mean i wanna be with him soooooo bad its killing me. we went and smoked the other night ago and wound up making out and what not, lol. we got stuck. it was funny. but mer...i dont know. i was talkgin to tima and kendra the other day ago bout it, mostly tima and she was like the way he looks at you is soo sweet. he HAS to like you, he HAS to have major feelings for you cuz just seeing how he looks at you for just one lil second.  all we did was go get food during break and kendra and tima were saying that. ugh i hate this shit. im sooo clueless to what goes on around me it pisses me off. then last nite when i was chillin with brian the lil feelings that i did have for him way back when kinda came back. but they def arent as strong as the feelings i have for andy...i dont think anything could beat those feeligns. i dont know. all i know is that i cant stand this, i want him..¿back?  i mean damn, the boy called me yesterday morning and was liek im throwing up..can u come get me. and my ass woke up and went and got him, id do that for friends btu i think i woulda hung up on them first. i dunno. i dunno why he even called me. prolly cuz he knw that i would come get him, mer. i dont know. he could still be using me for my car and shit, and cuz im a push over.  lakklajd. fucking ay. i dont know. ive said that like a million times over but i really dont know anymore. i love the boy i really do and i highly doubt that he has any feeligns for me at all, but who knows. everyone that sees him even look at me say that theres something there, somethingm in the way he looks at me. i just wish i could believe them.