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flying anyway
the bumblebee


Age: 23
Sex: F
State: Washington

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steps to clarity Saturday, April 19, 2008

just takes two fingers to stablize on this wobbling cynlider
shaken by the nonexistence of fears,
distracted by hallucinations where
suddenly every simple decoration is a
smaller clue to this puzzle
and he's saying I'm shaking too much these days
no wonder these pieces don't seem to fit,
I'm too shakey to make them.
and I'm in no hurry to leave these floating flames
wait it out til they're strong
there's no sense in rushing it when you're timeless
and I only see the clock I put here myself but I don't believe its not lying
the clocks have been spinning out I've lost control
luckily this car drives itself these days.
slight case of tunnel vision, another cylinder to save
seeing silent screams for a split second,
reminds me that I'm not the only one.

its a great day when your destination is at
the bottom of the sign still miles away
and even further from town
rough terrain wrong turns, remember you can always turn around
and continue on to find
it exactly how I hoped, I really can't think in the sun
familliar unhindered smiles, once again
its comforting to know I'm not alone.
set the stage with jumbled words
accent every page with letters confused with their own form
I finally believe I'm standing straight again
and come to find my bodys moving on its own and its scary
when you're touching something and unsure of how you got there
but that stare reminds me, everything is controllable
so these involuntary actions are just excused with ignorance
where's the justification? this time im the only one.

well its alright and I'm working through this now
not feelin the pressure to rip my insides out
cause I feel like they all could see the crazy side of me,
when I glanced in their eyes its like they knew instantly
I'm bringing hard feelings to the table,
we want to know if they have a way
but everyones looking for answers and no one has much to say
so we just sing syllables in hopes of finding phrases
the words are so perfect but that's only surface information
I've found the harmony, the tune to carry me through
but I'm still not quite sure, so what the hell do you expect me to do

even when everything looks so simple next to that comparison
everyday I find that I'm found on bridges
looking at the dizzy ground beneath me thinking
if only I was lost under that green rage,
to lose myself in something other than this page
well maybe its time, just about time

cause you see im touched but i'm tainted,
and sometimes i'm not reachable at all
im distant i know but im just being me
someone different from who ive been
but its me, im not consistent im not stable
and im usually predictable, however
not so easily understood but ive got my way with words.

headed home if i have to, sign says seattle
not so sure about home.
clarity might be the wrong word cause im feeling rather clouded
and im feeling okay as usual in this seat
so maybe clarity isnt what i needed
and after all of this, I still just can't wait until I can leave for the last time,
and finally stop coming home.



this line was my favorite

"but everyones looking for answers and no one has much to say so we just sing syllables in hopes of finding phrases"

as always, i can sum it up in four words.

i love your writing. [sayhello]

4/19/2008 9:16:48 PM
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