I thik I have made a mistka.e

Rocky asked me and meg ot be the new housecleaners, whic is cool, becuase they boys are awesome and hten we would ge tot know them bettter, plus then we would always get in for free. So, megs in for sure, and i think i am going to in too, becuas ethat would so fucking awesome.

So later tom was like "bren! you're the new housecleaner!" And I didnt even know Tom rembered my name. Every time we're drunk we talk just a littel bit but i didnt think he knew my name. So yea, we talked abotu the cleangin, he showed me what wed have to do, adn he told me he makes the bes tblody marys and he will make us some when we clean. He said they wil;l help us clean a littel bit, but thats all he could say, becuase he sddnt want to ruin th surpirse. He said thres more thats really exciting. Hmmm? So then while I was talking to him some one asked himw here friday was, and they said he went to UV. So yea, that was kinda sad to hear bcuz i kinda wanted to talk to him more tonight. But then they were like omg, im not even kidding, that boy gets laid 6 time is 7 nights! and i was like TOM is that ture!? and he said no.. no... you didnt hear that, that was just guys talking, pretend you didnt hear that. and i was like, but i did!? is it true?! and he just kept sayingit was only guys tlaking and not to worry bout it. Then (stupid STIPD bren) I was like, Tom, im so sorry to tell you but last thursday i was in your bed. And he was said its bcuz friday has a futon, and he seemed cool with everything. I dont know.... then i was like tom please dont tell anyoene what i told you, dont tell frieday i asked if hes a player. I didnt want friday to know that i cared enought o tlak abotu him with other people. Tom said, and i agree, that it would have been better id neither of us said anything, becuase now bth of us feel ike shitl. I feel lie shit becuas eim afraid i've been played, and he feel slike shit beczue number one, hes the one that told me and number two, i foolded around hard core in his bed last week. SO yea, aquward. but tom said we're cool, nad we dd the pinky swear to not tell anyone what we talked about, i would pretent i didnt know fridays a player and he pretends he didnt know we fooled around in his bed and that im(shit) interested in friday. GOD DAMN, i wish i wasnt.

Boys are assshole.s All they want is ass. I thought he was different though, ut I thought tommy was different all every girls thinks every boy is different. Well they're not. they're all the saem. He was nice to me tonight, he let me put my shit in hsi room and verything, but i just dont know, maybe its lal different han i thought.

Meg was pissing me off tongiht, becuase she just gets so consumed in boys there snot tlaking to her. Robin was way too drunk and pissing me off and Jessie was being discusting with the boys signing her shirt. I did tlak to alot of tother peoplel, which I guess is relaly trhe point of a party anyways. I tlaked ot mike alot, which was cool, becuae i know he doesnt know me really yet. He signed my shirt and told me he wanted us to be the housecleaner. PLUS, I talked to his g/f alot, which is CRAYZ bcuz she is in my english class and i always lok at her prety ring. Shes cool. I tlaked to alot of andy's friends, and jasmine, and ruth. Poror Ruth got sick but she's so nice! Shes having problems with her bf from home and I told her she should just endit. You only live once, what the fuck is the point of being with someone who isnt perfect?! I dont know.....

I called Gabe and ended up tlakign to Jeramiah for a while, hes good shit. I love jeramiah. Hes liek the only one I REA:LLY talk to of those boys, other than gabe. I dont know, they were going to a club, they never wanna coe to essex.

Im glad I wwent tonight, the people I tlaked to were good, I jut wish (or hope manye?) that what those boys and tom said about friday isnt true... he said not to worry abotu what i said last wkee to him, and he is the one that ALWYAS talks to me, but honestly, obviouy I care more than he does bcuz I wouldnt have left the party without being with him or takin to him or soemthin.

Thank god Dion wasnt there tonight.... I think he was replaced by some crazy ass dude that reminded me of shance hardie when I looked at him. And andy.. YUCK. frekaing wreird andy. that kid is everywhere, but im not gonna lie, hes not as bad as dion.

Ok, im going ot bed. Im sickgod damnit. I have a cold. But andy (good andy, my friend the cool one andy dwyer) told me i dont sound like a man anymore. i was really worrie dbcuz i difnt wanna make friday sick but i guessit didnt matte tongiht since there was a party at UV anyways. Whatwsver. But yea, Im so excited to go to kato tomorrow, it'll be a good time. I dcnat wait.

FUCK i think i calle dSkinyn tongiht and no im gonna have to explain everything o her, and now shes gonna hate friday... whn i was just braggin him up yesterday. oh well, who knows with boys. they think whith the wrong head. THat was tommys problem anyways. I was ust thinig baout thanksgiving breka and how mch i will miss evryone here... its so weird but these people are so important to me. When i font se someone for like 3 hours i fele ike i havent sen them forever. Its weird, but i love these people SO MUCH. and honestly, i cant imagion going like 5 days ihtout them. its goonna be sad.

im tlaking to poofy right now, i hope thats not a bad influence since he is wtwo years youger than me. BUt ya know what? kellen is two years older than me. and i dont hink hes a bad influende. underageis underage, no mater ho mwnay yers. RIGHT? Jessie just calle me to make sure i am home and that i am alone. I love that we all look out for each other... liek when they cam eand got me last thursday at fridays at 3 am. Even tho i wanted to, they wouldnt let me stya. we look out for each other here, and thats why my drinking is ok, bcuas there are so many people here that care and look out for me.

Tommy tlaked to me tongiht. what the fuck? why cant he just fucking call me? I hate how he PISSES me off so much bcuz he knwos hot much i loved ihm.. .he knows. I wish he knew how much he hurt me. Woha, im turing into the angry drunk. but if he was here right now you could be SURE idbe yelling the fuck outta ihm. in fact, i think im gonna call him and tell him how it hurts me that he never calls when he says he will. im gonna brush my teeth too so i dont have beer breath in the monring. but ti htink i will go to clas sotmorrow, bcuz i missed last week and i think its good for me to go. Yes, i know it is. Im excitedfor Kato.

Goodnight.... peace, and i wish i didnt smell like pot.

-ls