|Random thoughts of nothing...|
I don't even know where to begin on this entry....depression, boredum, loneliness, heartache....oh, the possibilities are endless!
School is going well though...that's a plus. Another plus is Gabriel...he's always a happier side of my days. He's growing sooo much! He's so beautiful and smart! He's speaking spanish and english, which in turn is making me learn spanish. Yes, I admit it...I'm learning spanish from a 2 year old. At this rate, by the time he's 6, we may be able to share actual conversations with eachother!
He really is so smart though. I can't believe how cute he is! Okay, I'm bragging now...I'm done.
Tony has officially and successfully moved on. He and Patty are in a full throttle relationship and....happy, I guess. They were planning on moving in with eachother and still are, as far as I know. Should I be happy for him and his new life? Should I really learn to accept her? Can we actually really get to the point where I can drop Gabriel off at his house while she's there? I don't know. Tony's mom is telling me to just be careful, not to let my guard down. She's conviving and manipulative...she'll stab me in the back again if she has to. I dont believe Tony actually trusts her either. But on a brighter side, she did find out that Tony and I hadnt stopped sleeping together. Looks like her perfect little relationship aint so perfect! It's sad to think she thought she was great enough to change him.
I really want to start dating again....I think. I don't know. Maybe I just miss having someone in my life that actually wants me around. I miss being complimented, I miss having someone to talk to, to have fun with. I miss having a boyfriend. I miss planning my life with someone. Okay, so I"m not going to rush into that part again but how can I even not rush into it if I dont have anyone to not rush into it with???
Sooo.....anyway, I don't know. I didnt really have anything to say or talk about, I just felt like writing..something. Anything.