Man i have been fucking up alot here lately. Lets see first off a few years ago i cheated on A.J. with a guy named paul who i barely knew and then A.J. left me and i wanted to die because i really loved him. Then i cheated on paul with my bestfriend sean and had them both pissed at me.

Then i cheated on paul again for a second time with a guy named dave and left paul for him. Then A.J. shows back up into my life and i plain to leave dave and never do. Then drew shows back up in my life after a little while and i got with him. So then i'm with the three of them and don't know what to do.

Then they all find out and all three are still wanting to be with me and i choose A.J. So then dave and drew are heartbroken and so is A.J. and he dosen't trust me. Then the next thing i know A.J and i break up and i get with a buddy of mine named ron.

Well then A.J. says he wants me back so i go back with him even though i'm with ron. Then a few days ago they find out about eachother and now ron hates me and wants nothing to do with me. A.J is currently thinking about whether or not he wants to be with me and i'm tore up.

Man i don't know why i keep doing this shit. It's so not like me because i've had it done to me so many times. Right now and here lately all i can think about is suicide because i feel so horrible and i can't take any of it back. i tryed to kill myself but A.J stopped me.

I don't understand why am i doing this to people that i truly love and care for alot. This is not like me i don't know what to do. I just really want to die. I just want an easy way out. No pain no nothing. i'm nothing but a no good peice of shit cunt.

Well everyone this will probably be my last time writing i hope everyone has a nice life and try not to make the mistakes i did. See you on the other side.