So I'm back to writting in order to live, or perhaps that's still living to write, either or it doesnt really matter...the fact remains that I am back to state of mind that I can actually continue to attempt to put various random thought's down in a finite way allowing other's to read my  psudo intellectual thoughts about life...sex...love....and of course drugs cause well they are always on my mind.

I can offer another sad truth right off the bat, you my dearies havnt missed much at all. I got wicked sick there for awhile in and out of the hospital...the state of my health is much like the state of the union...neither is looking to good at all. My younger brother turned 21 on the 18th, we celebrated the big event in Las Vegas....we made a weekend of it...a weekend in the middle of a week...we all felt like rock star's for that. I will say once again I shall never drink yaggerbombs ever again...after one I remembered why I didnt like them in the first place....and thankfully did stop me...

I have a very dear friend of mine visiting me this month so thats pretty cool, nothing romantic of course, but its nice to have a friend around. But on the topic of romance...I might have a new guy in the picture, Im still not sure...to early to tell...but it seems to be on that road to romance which is kinda cool. He's awsome...way into music...he runs sound for concerts....so we have that in common...he also owns his own club...even better.

We have been watching all these indie-esque type of movies, ya know, movies that have the indie script but not the indie star's...which is kinda wierd but at the same time...supprisingly bad ass. Our favorite is quickly turning into the movie 200 cig's....oh and this weird movie we watched last night called 11:14 I wont even attempt to explain that movie its to fucked to explain...but if ya like indie-esque movies I highly suggest that one...

And on the topic of movies...holly fuck dearies my friend that is visiting had me watch the most disgusting of all movies I have ever seen....the movie....The Hills have Eyes...the unrated version....holly fuck...one disturbing gore filled moment after the next....I like gore...and I like blood...but damn...this movie is like watching Cabin Fever,Saw and The elevater scene from The Shining. If ya like insain amounts of blood and just icky icky icky part's....then by all means....but ummmm I am never ever taking a side road ever again for the rest of my fuckin life....the scariest part of that movie...besides ya know the WHOLE fuckin thing is....I've actually been on that road before......the creater's are rather famous....so I stoped on my way threw New Mexico...never again though...NEVER AGAIN will I ever leave the main road on a road trip cause holly fuck...that was just crazy...for my female reader's and friends out there....I will do something my friend failed to do...there is a rape scene in the movie....probably the most disturbing scene in the FIRST part of the movie...oh yes...it get's better from there....so much better....fuck me it was gross...the entire time I was watching the movie from behind a pillow saying "Why the fuck am I watching this icky movie...what the hell has this person have us watching yo" seriously....it was gross.....a well placed crash in the middle of no where surrounded by a bunch of mutated pissed off canables....sounds like a good fuckin time to me...Seriously though...Dr. Satan has got nothing on this bastards...NOTHING....House of a 1000 Corpses is like a Disney movie...

Icky...thats all I can say about that movie...it gave me nightmares for like three day's...and I love gory ass scray movies and it was just to much man....to fuckin much...if I ever watch it again....which I wont but just in case I will have to be extreamly drunk and higher then the moon to even consider it....

now everyone wants to watch Stay Alive again....now thats the way gore should be done...just enough to freak out you but not give you nightmares....

J.