i feel like crying because i realized i was right about my family they dont care. my brothers were the only ones there for me when i fell off like them. my friends were there for me to take me in when i fell hard into the reality that no one cared but them and that is sad becuase i worked to get where i was. i gaurded as long as i could from them. hoping that they would not hurt me or take me down when they werent haven a good day. i wish i could take that  time back but i cant because i stayed there so long until i no longer could get up. i want to cry. cry so hard knowing i have to go i need to go and not look back on this ever again. my friend told me not to cry and i cant give up. thanks to the people i am with i feel like i am living in heavens sweet arms. i havent told them the story of my parents abuse but i cant. i dont want them to look down upon it as if it was wronged. plus i blam myself for the fights that we had. time cant erase what has happened. i cant look back...............................................................never again.

i know this probably doesnt make since. but i want to cry but i cant. i need to be strong.