I'm uncharacteristically bitter today. I don't even know if that's how you would say it. And let's think, what are the 2 main sources of this bitterness? Oh yeah, the fact that I can't breathe, and ABE. The fucker. Yeah, that's the mood I'm in. I am so mad at him and I think mostly at myself. God, I feel like such a stupid little girl. I can't believe I am letting him get to me. I cannot figure the fucker out. I have been in Germany for over 2 months now, and this whole time, it has been apparently clear that he has a thing for me. And now in the last week or two, I have figured it out, and have been letting him get to me. I can't figure him out. Sometimes, he says things that makes me think that he's about to ask  me out, and then there are other times when I think not. And this has been happening for a while. Finally, yesterday, I invited him over for a movie. I was actually going to try to work up the nerve to ask him what his intentions were. And he doesn't show up. And today, all he can talk about is Ally. Yesterday, he had lunch with Ally, so he didn't have the time to talk to me. Last night, he was at Ally's for dinner ( and then at the center until 1030). He said he wasn't sure if I really wanted him to come over.  More on this subject later, since he's here....