Today is Saturday. I took my first prozac on Thursday. My husbands and my 4th wedding anniversary. 4 years ago I never would have thought that I would ever be on prozac. Or that I would even be remotely unhappy. This whole experience has been totally sureal to me. I take prozac. It doesn't even sound right. The doctor wants me to start thearpy. Go and see a shrink. I wouldn't have a problem with that if I thought there was something wrong with me. I have decided that the reason I am on prozac is because I am not allowing myself to be happy. Not because there is something wrong in my life. I do not fully understand what has happened to me that has got me so screwed up. Why can't I just be normal? I really have a great life. Depression is the stupidest disease ever. You are so out of control and you know things are not right, but you just can't fix anything. I just want to get better. I want to be happy and live this wonderful life and know how to handle not only the downs but also the ups. The doctor said the medicine could take up to four weeks to work. That just amazes me. It took two weeks to get an appt. and then another 4 to feel any better.
Anyway, we got a new puppy. Her name is Nemo. She is a lab mix and is sooo pretty. Her and our other dog Billy are getting along okay. I think Billy is going to freak out in a month or so when Nemo is bigger than him (he is a toy poodle). She is nice to have around the house anyway. A nice distraction to the reality.