We all live in our own dreamscape. Maybe one day you'll be in mine.
|Aah, yet another monday. isn't that nice? no...not really.|
mmm...today was kind of interesting. i had strength training for 2 hrs. and everyone abandoned me. it was only me, brooke, sarah, o and haley. she's really kind of desperate looking when she's by herself. but that's not the point. anyways, i actually worked out. for more than 30 minutes. my fat ass was on an eliptical for longer than all the atheletes. i'm so proud of myself. that would have been one of the days i showered at school though. i felt gross. and my big fear of smelling bad was bothering me all day. does that make me paranoid? i guess it does...oh well, at least i have my sanity. and then, i got a job application from mrs. davis that i have to fill out. i'll start working at bradon oaks which is an "assisted living facility" which is a nice way to say a nursing home or the funny farm. i'm kind of nervous about working there, but i hear it pays hella-good like 16/hour. i could get into that. of course if i had my way, i would be working at allstate making 418/week, but i guess i gotta deal.
i talked to ashley last night. i guess her life is whatever. i don't know...but i guess this is the growing apart phase because we spent more time and "enthusiasm" (it's IM come on) talking about Jay-Z making another album than about our lives. but for all the talking she does about us changing, she's done a hell of a lot of it herself. which is okay i guess, but i don't really know if i want to see her be different when/if she comes back. and then kaitlin and nikki were talking about a diary entry (which i read) where she said that she was talking to adam and he asked her if she had the choice to move back would she...and she said no, she wouldn't come back. and i don't know if she just means that because it's roanoke, but it was kind of funny feeling to me. i guess if she likes middletown delaware so much that it's better than here, but she was just talking about how her friends wouldn't be the same and neither would she. which bothers me...like i guess life is just that nice for her. who knows? but she's got a bunch of guys fighting over her, one female friend, and a new townhouse, who the hell knows. and kaitlin is all "sad" she doesn't talk to ashley anymore. sad, is as sad does. two weeks before ashley left, kaitlin buddied up to courtney so she had a smoking buddy. which is kind of wack if you ask me. but no one does.
today was an ice cream day. i'm pathetic. i worked out and then killed it with doritos, two/three/four pop-tarts, peach yogurt, and an ice cream sandwich. if i keep going i'm going to end up like kirstie alley or mo'nique. the fat actress. which would actually be kind of dope. bootylicious as hell and everything. the thing is if i slim down i won't have boobs anymore. and i like my girls. a lot. like i think it's unhealthy. well, not really but hey, they're mine. speaking of boobs...on accident i thought i was poking maia's arm while i was talking to nikki and i was really poking her boob. totally didn't mean to. really.
english sucked. we had to write a little expository about friendship. i don't have a best friend. does that make me a loser? probably...but that's not such a bad thing is it? i just have a few people i'm closer to than others...i think. i try. i pretty much talked to korosh the whole time and listened to music. i'm slacking off in school now that there's only 3 weeks left. did i say before i don't want to read this book? because i really don't. it sucks when you can't get past the first page.
i'm rambling...that's a problem. but i don't really want to stop writing. my sister's award ceremony is in a week. i wonder when ours is. i better get one. i hate not doing well in school. it's been the one thing i'm consistent in and i like it like that. that and maybe sleeping. but i like it like that.
biology SOL tomorrow and then they're a wrap. fantastic.
14 days left of school. this shit is bananas! b-a-n-a-n-a-s!
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