its funny how as soon as you think things are going good something bad happens. Its like life cant just let you be happy. Shaun knows about luke..and things are horrible. I am just not sure what i feel. Its like i dont feel that sad, and the thought of breaking up doesnt seem that scary at first.. but then when i really think about it i dont even know what to do. We are not even a relationship right now. ITs sucks and i am trying so hard to be understanding and loving but he keeps bringing it up all the time..I want to just GEt over it and move on too see if we are really meant to be..but i feel so selfish about that. Imagine how i would feel if he cheated on me? I would have died. Its just eating him up and i dont even know if a relationship is worth it or not. Are we ever really going to get over this? Sometimes i just think all relationships that go through cheating are doomed and just never work. If we werent together im pretty sure i would have nothing. I only have i good friend and she even drives me crazy. Maybe when i go to school i will meet some new people? I dont know what to do. I am really feeling depressed over it.. but its like it just doenst come out and i cant figure outa solution. I feel like just moving away and starting a new life sometimes. Maybe i should try and get into school somewhere else? Maybe i should move out? Realisticly that sounds so dumb but i just feel like i am a better person when i am not at home. I dont know if i could even afford it..but im so good with my money that im sure i would be ok..I just need some kind of change. I am really excited to go to school..I need to get my application in right away. Anyways, i gotta go ill write later