So I've been thinking today.  When i go to the doctor's on Monday, they are going to do a pregnancy test.  and if it is negitave they will do my pap.  If it is possitive they can not treat me because they do not deal with pregnancies.  I believe it will be negitive.  Some strange feeling makes me think that.  I jsut don't think I can get one to say possitive.  LOL I know it's weird.  I would ask them if they could do a blood one BUT I don't believe any ins would cover that and I just don't have the money for one.  That may come out correct.  At least then I would have a better Idea becasue it woudl test the levels of that hormon.  And if it is so low then I am not, but if it is high, then I will knwo I am and how far along I am also.  Since I have heard that the blood test can be acc at 4 days after conception.  And the last time we even had sex was on teh 5th or 6th, then it would be acc on Monday. 

i guess what happens with that kind of test is it almost doubles every day, and that would be about 5-6 days after the last time we had any kind of sex.  Soooo, that would be my best bet.  The only problem with that is I CAN'T AFFORD IT!!!  I got a whole $90.00 check this week, and Ryan still isn't making money yet.  All of our bills are delinquent now, and we are so broke we don't even buy food anymore.  LOL I feed my kids, that is about it.

Ryan is now scared that I may be, and we may have made a real big mistake trying at this point in time.  Things just aren't really that good with money and all.  But I will say taht I won't love the baby any less because it is not his/her fault.  It is ours.  And if I am we will keep it, because that is the right thing to do.  I just don't knwo what I want the test to say anymore.  I want to have anotehr one, but at the same time I don't.  If I am pregnant it would answer a lot of the questions/problems I have been having.  But if I am not I would be real worried that there is somethign more seriously wrong with me.  I just don't know anymore.

Monday feels like forever away.  I know that today is friday but that means I got to finish today and get through 2.5 more days.  Cause my app isn't till after noon.  WEll, i am going to go now.  Just wanted to write a bit.

GOD BLESS!

Take care all

"Pray for London"

"support & pray for our troops, that they may come home safe"