|THIS IS ME|
So I've been thinking today. When i go to the doctor's on Monday, they are going to do a pregnancy test. and if it is negitave they will do my pap. If it is possitive they can not treat me because they do not deal with pregnancies. I believe it will be negitive. Some strange feeling makes me think that. I jsut don't think I can get one to say possitive. LOL I know it's weird. I would ask them if they could do a blood one BUT I don't believe any ins would cover that and I just don't have the money for one. That may come out correct. At least then I would have a better Idea becasue it woudl test the levels of that hormon. And if it is so low then I am not, but if it is high, then I will knwo I am and how far along I am also. Since I have heard that the blood test can be acc at 4 days after conception. And the last time we even had sex was on teh 5th or 6th, then it would be acc on Monday.
i guess what happens with that kind of test is it almost doubles every day, and that would be about 5-6 days after the last time we had any kind of sex. Soooo, that would be my best bet. The only problem with that is I CAN'T AFFORD IT!!! I got a whole $90.00 check this week, and Ryan still isn't making money yet. All of our bills are delinquent now, and we are so broke we don't even buy food anymore. LOL I feed my kids, that is about it.
Ryan is now scared that I may be, and we may have made a real big mistake trying at this point in time. Things just aren't really that good with money and all. But I will say taht I won't love the baby any less because it is not his/her fault. It is ours. And if I am we will keep it, because that is the right thing to do. I just don't knwo what I want the test to say anymore. I want to have anotehr one, but at the same time I don't. If I am pregnant it would answer a lot of the questions/problems I have been having. But if I am not I would be real worried that there is somethign more seriously wrong with me. I just don't know anymore.
Monday feels like forever away. I know that today is friday but that means I got to finish today and get through 2.5 more days. Cause my app isn't till after noon. WEll, i am going to go now. Just wanted to write a bit.
Take care all
"Pray for London"
"support & pray for our troops, that they may come home safe"