7, 4, 14, 3, 1, -3.

Winning lotto numbers? Nope.

Combination to my high school locker? Um, since when did combination locks have negative numbers?

My pin up worthy measurements? Hahaha. I am a funny looking fool.

No, loves, the above numbers are the temps I have been seeing this week so far. It is bloody cold out there! I am in need of winter clothes, stat. My Houston fare is not working anymore. My jeans are like paper when the winds start in. Do y'all remember when jeans used to be thick and stout? Now they are thin and only last a few months at best. I am a jeans and t-shirt type girls, so maybe I am a bit hard on my jeans, but that is no excuse.

I know I need to keep my booty warm, but I dont want to buy a bunch of new clothes only to throw them out when my belly starts expanding. Maybe I should just wear a blanket for the next few months. OH or one of those poncho sweater things with a hood. Haha.

Anyway, Sunday morning, while freaking out at the idea of leaving the house and driving in the snow / ice, I bundled up and headed out to start the van. I was standing on the porch looking at the snow when I heard something in the distance. I waited about thirty seconds, didnt hear it again and began walking toward the van. After unlocking the door, I discovered it was frozen in place. Great. I was dealing with the stuck door when I heard the noise again, louder and unmistakable, a pack of coyotes. Instant freak out! All I could think was I was about to be a winter survival story on Discovery.

"There she was, struggling with the car door when the pack of coyotes circled behind her and pounced for an early Christmas treat. Now, how could she have prepared better for this, seemingly innocent, adventure? To answer this question, we have survival expert Bear Grylls on the show today. So, Bear, advice?"

"Thanks, Ed, well for the stuck door, she could have urinated on it and the warmth from her urine would have popped the door right open. Now, the best thing to do before urinating on the door is to place a clean container underneath to collect the run off urine. When it is collected, you should drink your urine, because you never know when you will next be able to have a drink. You must stay hydrated."

"Now, Bear, if you are in the snow, it would seem you have plenty of water to drink and drinking ones urine would be unnecessary and not to mention gross."

"No, Ed, you must drink the urine. YOU MUST DRINK IT!!!"

All that talk of urine made me have to pee.

Anywho, since TH left, the manager and I are the only ones that can open the store, which means I open every weekend and when manager is sick. I realized Sunday this is a blessing in disguise. I am glad that I didnt have another opener to call Sunday morning. I doubt I would have called in, but still I am glad I didnt have the option. This way I was forced to drive in the snow. I have to get used to it.

So this kiddo inside me is playing cruel, cruel jokes on me. It is making me crave foods that I can not have on several levels. What am I craving? Well, first off cheese and I cant have any cause Im just too lazy to go to the store. No biggie. The mother of all cravings though? The one that is driving me crazy and making me sad at the same time? Catfish  po-boy. OMG, I would do seven dirty things to a catfish po-boy right now, People would make laws against the treatment of sandwiches after I was done with it. Alas, I can not have one because you cant have fish while knocked up (said in a bratty kid voice). Even if I could have fish and could find a catfish po-boy around here I wouldnt eat it. Kansas people dont know about catfish. I need to go home, back to the swamps and have proper fish. Fried and salty in cornmeal on a po-boy roll with lettuce, tomato and tartar sauce. The good tartar sauce with lots of pickles. *cries* With a side of boudain and a big glass of my grandmothers sweet tea.  *cries more* I guess if I had to settle, I would accept a sweep the kitchen from Johnny's and an order of the best breadsticks I have ever put in my mouth. *pitches a fit* I am pregnant, homesick and hungry. Johnny's used to have frozen take and bakes that they would ship. I wonder if they still do that? I wonder if I could sweet talk them into sending a knocked up hometown girl a slice of heaven?

I really am about to cry over this pizza business.

Im gonna go and get dressed for another fun filled day of selling nachos and scratch offs.

Also, another thing I really want (non food related): I want to see this show so bad. They are coming to Wichita, but Im sure I have to work. Maybe I will just buy a cd or something.

***Sorry guys, guess I didnt finish my story. I am so scatterbrained lately. So, the coyotes, the sound was coming from the apartments across the way. I dont think they were moving, but I wasnt sticking around to find out. I yanked the van door open, started the engine quickly, slammed the door and high-tailed it back inside. I dont remember hearing them howling again when I went back out 15 minutes later to leave for work. I wanted to take a tin can filled with pennys with me to shake at them. Like a noise maker would save my slow ass. *shrugs* I havent heard them since that morning so I guess the moved on. I wish them well, just let their well be well away from my domicile.

Werd.

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