|Made of my Dreams|
So it's been a while since I've written. Guess I just haven't had much to say. Today has been different for me though. Just one of those days where you feel different. I sit here in the glow of the sunset bouncing off my light purple walls and I just feel happy. Maybe I'm just on one of my ups. I've been home lately. Too much time with the rents. But it felt good to be there. I got to see some people I haven't seen in a while.
I found out Pat is engaged to what's her name. I hate her I really do. She doesn't deserve someone like him. And he's just settling because he's afraid to be alone. How can you marry someone who accuses you of rape? Just doesn't make sense to me. So she has PTSD......but she's made him lie and change as a person. He hasn't even told me that he proposed to her and it was back in September. Guess I'm not invited to the wedding. That's sad though cuz he's been one of my best friends for over 5 years. I guess people throw things like that away easily.
I haven't talked to Jon. I deleted him from all of my contact stuff. Just can't deal with him. He betrayed me so much. I don't understand how you can do that to someone either. I don't understand how I did him wrong or what happened between us. But with him, I guess that's the normal. I know he has another girlfriend already. So I'm trying to earse him from my mind. I know I can't trust him again.
School is almost over for the semester. Thank god. I didn't think this one would ever end. I've been so busy with stuff. The homework load is impossible to keep up with. I feel like I'm working and working and not getting anywhere on stuff. I only have 1 year, 2 weeks, and 3 days left. I can't wait to move.
I've been thinking about getting baptized lately too. I have a meeting with Chris to discuss it on Thrusday. Not something I'd thought I'd see myself doing but hey I've changed.
*Side note- I still miss Nate like crazy. It's been 6 months and I can't get out of my mind. Sometimes guys do things the excate way he does and I just want to cry. I know I love him. I know my heart belongs to him. I just wish he knew that too...........I put our ring back on last week. After 2 months of not wearing it and putting it in the box with all the pictures and stuff....I just felt naked. It just gives me hope I guess. Hope that maybe somewhere along the lines of time that we'll meet again and things can be very different. People tell me I'm crazy for still loving him.........but love makes you do crazy things.