|too rusty to drive|
"& iN A WHiSPER
Weird. It felt weird to hug her again. Weird. Odd. Fickle. I don't know. I missed it, it always feels nice to be in her arms. But it was weird. Fuck. It's been like four months since I last hugged her, maybe even touched her. We don't interact except through txting and the computer, the occasional phone call. That's about it though. Seeing her today, let alone hugging her, was just weird. It didn't hurt. I'm glad it didn't hurt. But it was fucking weird. I was shocked as hell when I opened the door and saw her. I think I shook a bit. No, no, I definitely quivered just a tiny bit. I thought I might've blushed, but I don't think I did. I was a little flustered. I wasn't expecting her. I was put more at ease when I saw she was stressing, not that that's good (her stressing), but it gave me something to focus on. So I just invited her in, gave her a hug, and asked what was up. She asked me to use the phone and I said yah sure. Apparently she doesn't have her cell phone on her (I guess she forgot it). So I dropped in front of the computer and looked up Rudy & Kelly for her, so she could call them. We talked idly about school. We have no classes together and don't even have the same early release (she has a late arrival). I doubt we even see one and other in the hallways, so we're pretty much worlds apart. With different friends and different lives.
Yet, somehow, I never forget. No matter how long, how scared, how angry, how depressed. I never cease to shake a little when I look at at her. It's involuntary. It's a reaction to her smile, to her movements, to the jerky nervousness she exhibits around me. I barely look her in the eyes, its just not a viable thing for me to do. I look at the sky, to the side, I do whatever necessary to not look into her green eyes. I just know it would be a bad idea. Everyone speaks of the abyss being black, but I have a feeling the abyss is an iris green.
"WHY DON'T WE LAY DOWN ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR
School is pretty decent. I have great teachers this year and a decent schedule. Me and Jason have three class together. I have a decent Global Studies class. Tomorrow I have Jason in both my classes, except oceanography. Which is going to be so easy I'm going to cry in relief from time to time. I have early release, which means I'm out of school by 12:20! Jason drives, so I don't ride the bus anymore. And if he's sick I can always beg off on Danielle to drop me home (or Monica if it's the right day). My math class has a lot of people in it and that's great (Danielle, Katie, Ty, Danielle #2, and Bubbles! Latifah, Gian, Nerissa, and Darius on a smaller note). My english class has a lot of people in it that I know. A couple of friends in there with me are Jason, Ty, and Sam (though I feel like he doesn't like me, one of the few people who don't (probably because of the whole Monica thing, he's desperately crazy about her, but she doesn't want him and had picked me even though I wasn't worth the effort)), Sam puts up with me though. He understands that if he's friends with everybody, that means he needs to at least be pleasant to me. On a littler note, Kellan, Katra, Savannah, Katherine, Viet, Shelly, and Latifah are in my English class. I don't know three of the guys, but I know just about everyone else except a few asians and a few people I wish weren't there (really just Laila).
Tomorrow I'll see how many people are in my classes, c:. This year I have a new mix of people to hang with. Sadly, I haven't seen Khadejha or Kristina. I miss them! They were my buddies last year in most of my classes and great fun. I sortof miss it all. And I'm afraid of growing up. Scared yet excited. But I suppose that's adult hood.
There's not much to say, but I just wanted to get a little bit out because I was in need of it.
"MAYBE YOU'LL FORGIVE THE THINGS I FORGOT