Fathers day,
I'd honestly rather ignore this day, I have no need of a special day for being a father, no need to be shown extra appreciation for doing what I am supposed to do, loving my daughter, taking care of her to the best of my abilities, hoping I don't mess up to badly. So fathers day turned out the way it usually turns out, not being about me but all about spending time with her, making her laugh and giggle, letting her know that I love her and everything she does.

Fathers day,
it is also a day I can't help but think about my father. How hard I tried to please him, to do and say the right thing, never knowing what will set him off, never knowing if what was ok to do and say yesterday would make him angry today. The best I could hope for when he did get angry, which was more often than not, was to be yelled at and called names, the worst, no the worst wasn't to be beaten with the belt, the worst was having to watch him hurt my sister and being told that it was my fault. Everybody knew, everybody kept quiet, nobody helped. And his worst betrayal, his biggest failure as a father, he knew about HIM and did nothing to stop it, it was a Fathers day he told me that, the last time I ever talked to him.

Fathers day,
I can't forget about my step-father on this day, not that he ever was a real father figure, more a friend than anything else. Nevertheless, he was a man I could trust, still is. And he is the person that gave my mom the courage and strength to leave her marriage with my father.

Fathers day,
it turned out to be a good day. .
' Thank you for that smile my love, I miss those smiles, the ones where you smile with your eyes. '  Blossom whispered this into my ear at dinner.
It was a better day than I had dared to hope.