|I Spy A Disquiet Mind|
It was warm outside and yet everything else, including myself, was cold. I shivered in spite of everything. It was a party today, a celebration of friendships and significant others. They oozed all over each other and those that were unattached were unable to stop anything, especially their annoyance at the sickening scence that continued for three hours. Oh, the torment! Some find it hard to believe that certain people are incapible of inflicting pain or torture, but it is not as it may seem; they may inflict it for themselves without realizing it, or others may be the ones that should be blamed. Not that we all are not to blame at some point.
Friends, you think, true friends would be able to sit by your side and contemplate things outloud with you. But those kinds of friends seem to disappear when their dear one silently demands all their attention and ignores everyone else. You feel like you do not even matter and that maybe your joining in the revelry of the party was a mistake since no one seems to care whether you are there or not. Time shuffles slowly on and on, never breaking into a run, only moving at a snail's pace, at a slow crawl. It seems like the hands of the watch are still, even though you know they are not. Things begin to become dreary and bothersome, and not only things but people as well. You have to wonder why on earth you accepted an invitation to the party.
But, of course, everything is all right in the end. Elsewise, you know it is not the end. The dreary time is no longer a matter of great importance; in fact, it barely matters at all. The endng is the best part since you realize you can finally leave the hurt that you had to endure behind, and no one will harp upon it as you travel home.
There are people who are your closest of friends until someone else comes between you and them. Then, you are no longer starved for the physical aspects of a relationship, but you lose a part of yourself when you lose the closeness you once had with your good friend. It should not be hard to draw the line where you can sit well with your dear one physically and still be able to show your close friends that you do indeed care about them. It should be incredibly easy to stay apart from your significant other for, say, three hours when your other friends wish to renew thier friendship with you, not your significant other. They do not care to watch the disgusting oozing that seems to always occur when two childish people that are going out are together in a relaxed, yet still very public, atmosphere.
Then again, would I be so different if I had someone who liked me beyond just a friend?