Dear Sammie,

Why is this world so horrid? Why are humans so cruel? When I think of all the horrible things I hear on the news, I think: ' in what kind of whole am I stuck in now?' I'm so mixed up right now... I think it's the teen thing. I read in Raisin Smart Kids for Dummies that teens will be confused and are ' searching for themselves' So that must be it. It's a very unpleasurbal feeling. If I could, I would skip that part and go  right to the adulthood. Even better, go back to where everything was pink and fuzzy. Back to when I was a kid. Everything was sooo much better. Now it's all rubbish. I thought about suicide once. Not seriously anyway. I tell myself that if I kill myself, I'll feel much better. And that I can be free from this evil place they call The Earth. But then, I love my family. I fell in the perfect one.I'm safe, I eat, I go to a great school, I,m pretty I'm smart, and guys love me. I love my family, and they love me. I'm afraid to rescucitate and go into a bad family. Where I'm hated and beaten.  And I heard from somwhere that if I kill myself, God will send me to hell ( I'm christian) and a bunch of bad things 'll happen. i've got no way out of this.  I need someone to get me out of this square!! Then I think about some teens in other parts of the world who are alot worse off then I am. They are forced to preostitute themselves, they don't eat, they have no family. Now they have a reason to kill themsleves. I would.I think.  Things are so complicated now. There are so many reasons to be sad. But there so many to be happy. I don't know what to feel.  If I had a way, to actually talk to god, for him to guide me to the right place. Mabe then.. i duno, I could be free from what's torturing me? The wierd thing is, I don't feel this way all the time. it's mostly when I'm alone. And when I think. In class or with my friends, I think, talk about boys, shopping, fashion. I'm just a normal teen outside. But inside I'm this dark closed perosn. I wish I wasn't the only one. If I knew I wasn't the only one on this boat. Because all I see is fog. If this is how teenaghood should be, then it sucks. I might as well eat up a bottle of Valium and sleep forever. Dream of a perfect hapiness, where everyone on the planet is happy. Not just me. Everyone has a family, everyone is loved. And there is just peace and good. If everyone in this world were like that, wouldn't this place be better? We wouldn't have to be scared to walk alone in a dark alley on the way home from work. You wouldn't have to walk around with pepper spray in your purse. There wouldn't be any need have alarm systems. You wouldn't have to pay an adult to go pick up your 15 year old at a party that finishes at 11 because you don't want her gettting attacked going home. What I really can't stand in all this, is that I know, no matter how we try, it'll never happen. Not with us. Mabe with species. But it's impossible to be in complete peace with everyone around you. Beacuse then, we would have to be born thinking all the smae. Raised all the same. Parnets would have to be all the same. That just wouldn't be possible. I remember, once in class. I was in 5th grade. We were talking about the pest.  And how we had to burn many families before it was all gone. I remember saying :" Their so stupid for doing that! They didn't have to kill every one!!" And the teacher looked at me saying: " If they hadn't done it, what would have happened? Well everyone would have gotten the pest. And we wouldn't be here today. If those families hadn't been burned, the pest would have stayed. And everyone would have died." If that's the only way, is that how we'll get peace? Do we have kill every criminal, every killer, every shop lifter, every drug dealer?? Is that how we'll get peace?

I just want Anwsers

GOSSIP_FREAK