well I fucked up again. Of course you kinda have to expect it from me. I ended up doing acid although I said I wouldnt. I actually tried shrooms for the first time and I was completely fucked up. I didnt go back with Kyla either. I stayed at Kael's and Jeff took me back to his place. Well me and Jeff hit it off quite well and we ended up having sex. That sounds horrible and I sound like a complete slut. He is so sweet though and I think I actually might love him. Ive never been in love before. Sure I have had boyfriends and the whole deal but I never actually felt like I do with Jeff. I will spare the romantic shit, it makes me feel like a pussy. So Im at Jeff's now and he offerred for me to stay a couple days and Ill go back to Kyla's, pick up my car and find another place to crash. Im getting sick of this actually, finding somewhere to sleep type thing. It was fun at the start but its lost its excitment.

I really want to go back home. I think Im going to see if my mom will take me back. I miss my little brother. I hope he never has to go through what Im going through right now. I want Chase to graduate. What the fuck? Hes only grade five and Im talking like this shit. Whatever, I want him to at least have the childhood I somehow missed. It will be easier when dads not there to fuck around. Mom's out of it but at least shes not violent. Thinking about it now, I grew up way too fast. I guess I was Chase's age when my dad got his friend to fuck me. I believe it is called rape (I hate the word rape... I dont know why). Age 10, wasnt a very good year. I am going to stop talking about my dad before I go off on a huge rant about how much of a drunk bastard shithole he is. Grrrrrrrr... Im fine now : )

On a brighter note, I was right! Conservative did win and they have a minority government. Thankyou and good night.