So Ive been in school for a little under a month now. I havent been around a lot of computers because Im still settling in and trying to find a house to stay in. I havent really seen much of Jeff lately. He keeps trying to call me but I know if I go back to him Ill just do more drugs. I really miss him though. I havent really been seeing much of any old friends actually. Ever since I was raped the fog has definately thickened to a brick wall. I just need to move on, make new friends and change habits. I joined the rugby team so thats going pretty well, keeping me off shit I dont want to get into again. Im actually in pure math now. And I know its only been a month but you know Im pretty proud of myself and Im holding in the high 80s. I know that mark will fall but hey, I was a fucking junior high dropout who couldnt go a day without smokin up. And now Im in pure math! I dont even know if Ill need it. I dont intend on going to university because one, I cant afford it and two, I dont really have any specific direction in life anyway beside getting off drugs. I only smoke up or drop a few times to kinda keep my body functioning. Only twice a week now. Im proud of myself actually. Its the first time for a very long time that Ive actually been proud of something Ive done. Maybe  someday Ill prove my parents wrong, that I can turn myself around and I actually have selfworth. Maybe I can even rise above and be the first in my family to graduate from high school for a very long time. Now I think about it, I have nothing to prove to anyone. The only person I need to prove something to is to myself. And know who Im doing this for. This is just a u-turn in my life and there another road to go down. Life isnt just a oneway. Thats my analogy.