| These are the Days |
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When I was in high school, I was a shit head. I would steal jewelry by removing it from it's packaging discreetly, and plain wearing it out of the store. I never got caught, and if I was with friends and they said something I would pretend like I had forgotten I was wearing it and oh, it would be weird to try to take it back. I hate myself for this. Today, I tried on a bracelet at Target. I got distracted, wore it around the whole store. I honestly forgot I was wearing it, went through the check out line with my floss and tooth brush, and as I lifted my hand to throw away my receipt at the door, I saw it. It crazy shocked me, and I thought--for too long--that I could do it. It was a super cool bracelet, and at $14.99 it was too much for my budget. I would just have to keep walking, it'd be easy, just like when I was 17. I never want to be like I was when I was 17. I took the bracelet off and walked back to set it at a cash register, and turned right around to walk back out again. I was so embarrassed. And then, for the briefest of moments, I thought, you should be proud of me. I just didn't steal. Seriously, Lisa? Why would that impress people? Not stealing should be expected, not rewarded. I wish I knew why I used to do that. I wish I knew why I can't anymore. Do I have some sort of superior understanding that could help reform thieves the world over? No. I don't. I don't know anything. This week I am rectifying wrongs. Not wrongs, exactly, but I'm going to make my life right. My life isn't wrong, but since that's the opposite of right ...
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