Why do I write?

I havnt decided..
                              its like asking me why I bother to breathe,
                                                                       to eat,
                                                                     to drink,
                                                                        to live in any sort of way or form..


                                                            Do I want to die?

                                                     No..
                                                                                     yes..

                                                           im not sure..

This world should be beautiful..
                                 I want to know why its not..

                                                                                   Life is supposed to be happy,
                                                                                                         maybe im holding out for that.. 

                                                    No..
                                                                                   yes..
                                                          im just not sure..



                                                           Why do I cry?

                                               I don’t..
                                                             I cant..
                                                                            it wont stop...



                                                           Do I want help?

                                              no,
                                            go away…

                                                                                            Yes,

                                                                                                   Save me..



                                     Do I even know…

                                                                    what im doing here?


~Alison lee