So as I figured the glucose screen came back positive for the whole gestational diabetes thing. I am just hoping that my not fasting just messed it up PLUS the test was technically taken weeks too early so I'm forced to suffer through it again and this time NOT mess it up and go from there. I'm not hot on the idea of having something to manage and I am just going to keep going with the whole thought that everything is fine and I really mucked it up by having coffee that morning, frosted mini wheats for breakfast, and more to eat at 10am - Just giving me 3 hours of true "fasting" and not the 12-8 they want for accurate test results.

They also want me to check in again in a week just cause my whole emotional level doesn't seem right to my OB. I mean I'm definitely stressed and everything but I am very ready to be done with this all and that makes her concerned because I have so much longer to go...So now I have to figure out how I feel and why so I can articulate it for them next week and they can stop worrying about me.

I can pretty much find the triggers for everything and there's a lot there - Like not being in a show right now while everyone else is - It's been over a decade of jumping right into rehearsals and that's hard to not be doing right now. Another thing is the fact that I missed out on my cousin's wedding, I don't do well missing that stuff...and that my family didn't go to North Carolina this year. Summers when we don't go to North Carolina everyone is out of wack and has a hard time dealing with it.

I also have this conflicting feeling about baby stuff sometimes because of the fact that everyone is so far away and I know that I am missing out on some of the experience and excitement everyone else gets. I have a small group of very busy friends, or friends who live far away, or family who are far away so I am kind of going through it all on my own and with so many Facebook people constantly posting and celebrating and sharing it's hard to be the person who doesn't want to - I feel like I am missing out even if it is something I might not necessarily want for some silly reason.