| A Place To Vent-To Just Let Go |
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Well, as you all know, I have been batteling this MRSA crap. I had ANOTHER outbreak!!! They keep getting worse and worse. And, of course the doctors get more pessimistic. If I hear one more doctortell me that they are surprised that I am still living and breathing without any complications or permanent disabilities yet, I am gonna scream! I recently wrote my will, got lots of life insurance, and started making the kids build a stronger relationship with my family so that when it comes time, I know they will be taken care of. I never stop hoping that I will find a way to pay for the treatment, though. In the midst of it all, we found out that Laynee has a hole in her heart. WOW! Guess I should have been a little more prepared with as sick as she has been all her life. I thought that if I got insurance through the company, we would come out all right. Yea, well the insurance for me and the kids is about $486 per month... AND it doesn't even cover my MRSA or Laynee's heart because they are pre-existing conditions. Needless to say, another Christmas was going to be too hard. All the overtime I have been working has been going to paying medical bills. What money I did have left I was having that mommy struggle of buying the kids new clothes or giving Joshua a Birthday Party. This is where the Christmas Wish came into play. For several weeks, I have been beyond stressed out. With the virus and Laynee's heart, my job, my living situation, my finances, well you get the picture. But I haven't given up. I have held tight to my faith. At night I just kept praying that God would hit me upside the head with a brick. I feel so lost and alone. Being back in Texas is somewhat hard. I used to have SO many friends, but they were my party buds. I know I could call any one of them up and have every free night filled, but that is not a road I want to go back down. So, I just kept asking God to show me that he had not left me, he was still here with me. God has a funny way of answering our prayers in ways that we never expect them to be answered. I am going to copy and paste an email that was read to me. It was a letter that my son wrote. He has asked his teacher to mail it for him. Deer Jesus,
My Mommy is sik agin. She wuss in the hosspitul. She is sad becuss she said she cant give me and sissy the things we need. My mommy says that we can ask you four what is in are harts. That you can do evireething. She says that you cant come down from Hevin becus you have two wach the angils. So, can you send mommy an angel for you?And can you ask him two bring my sissy and i some new clothes that are warm, and my mommy has no jakit and it is cold, and my mommy needs a new mattris four her bed and the heeter in her car broak. And if its not two much two ask my sissy and i want a bike. i no that my mommy sed you give us evireething we have, and evireething we need. If it is two much two ask My sissy and I can ware the same pents. she can gro intwo them. my Mommy relly needs a jakit. and my mommy can sleep in my bed, so he does not have to giv her a mattris Laynee and i can share a bike, i dont care if it is two small four me, and efin if its pink. I dont want my mommy two cry. if she cries she will get sik again and the medsin is rel xpinsif and the doktor sid my mommy cant keep getting sik because she mite not get betur and that makes my mommy cry mor. but if mommy doesnt have two cry becus she thins we are sad then she wont be sik. If my mommy gets betur, i will give all my toys two the truck that takes thngs two kids that dont have toys. the one mom makes us give are close when they dont fit us no more. i dont want mommy two live with you yet i want her two stae with me. i just want mommy to get betur and two be happe.
i love you, and i no you love me two and i no that you wil take care of me efin if mommy lives with you.
love,
joshua
oh, and jesus - will you ask rain not two choo up any mor of sissys horsis? i no dogs mite lisin two you betur then mommy!
Well, his teacher sent it to 94.9 KLTY, the local radio station. The first I heard of it was when the radio station called me and told me about it. They do this thing called "Christmas Wish" and they wanted to grant joshua's wish. On the phone was the Sr Pastor at Highland Meadows Church of Christ. He told me that they wanted to pay my medical insurance for an entire year. In addition to that, they were going to cover the treatment that I need for my MRSA and Laynee's Cardiologist Bills that are piling up. In ADDITION they bought the kids AND me bicycles and me a new bed, they replaced my couch (like my doctor suggested all those months ago) they bought a freezer and stocked it full of meat and they got me a spa package, bought art easles and play-do, movies, and board games. Truck loads of things for us!!!
I was, and still am, so overwhelmed... Just wanted to share real quick.
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