|A Place To Vent-To Just Let Go|
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Hold on, gotta stop laughing about that one... Nope, not done, yet! OK. WOW! My ribs hurt from laughing and my eyes burn. ME??? MARRIED??? Hmmmm. Let's see. This is what I have been doing since my mom said it. The funny thing is that David’s Christian (some type of prophet?) friend and a few other people, COMPLETE strangers, have said the same thing. At least if it happens, I have it in writing. This way, people won't think I am COMPLETELY insane when I tell them this story. Oh yeah... you already think I am nuts. I forgot... Oh well, let us add this to the quacked out things that Mandy says...
First of all, isn't it funny how God moves in our lives? Has it really been just a month since I cut my ties with Rich? He called several times since then begging me to change my mind. He says he misses me. Tells me that I am the only girl he has ever loved as much as he loves me. The funny thing is, now that I have shut that door, I don't really desire to open it back up. Letting go was the best thing for everyone. I didn't even feel tempted to give in and have one last date with him. And it feels good! That being said, let me fast forward to the present. Oh, yeah, I was telling you how God moves within us. Here I am, finally resigned to being a single mom. I give my kids more love then most kids get from a 2 parent household. These days my prayer was that God live within me so that I may live the pure life he wants me to live and that He help my children to know that He is the ultimate Father and that is all that the 3 of us need.
And then I met David. He is so awesome. He is very Christian. He does not believe in sex before marriage. He has 2 beautiful girls. He is a youth leader at the church. He is good looking and kind and sensitive. We have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but it feels so right. At first, we were just friends. He told me last week that he feels that God has blessed him to move forward. He said that he really wanted to pray about our relationship and see what God has planned for us. Last weekend was when he told me that. It was Friday night, and he hurt my feelings. We had officially been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, and he would not even touch me. He said he needed some time and space to be one with God and pray about things. I was sitting there thinking “I will give you all the space in the world…” I was thinking “What is so wrong with me?” But, even as I thought those thoughts, I was not upset in the least bit. So anyways, Friday, he tells me this and I did give him space and time. Sunday he calls me and says “Are you ok, I haven’t talked to you all weekend?” I laughed and told him that I was giving him the space that he needed to be with God. Who am I to come between him and God? So, he asked me to go over there and watch movies and meet his mom. That is a pretty big deal, when a boy asks a girl to meet his mom!
He told me that he feels like this is the path he is to walk and that God wants him to move forward with me. Yes, I know it all sounds strange. I don’t even know how to explain all this. I am content when I am with him. Sometimes he gets really quite and I feel like he is trying to push me away. But the last couple times we went out, he has been a lot more open to me. Last night, he told me he wanted to lay down and watch a movie and cuddle with me. I just cracked up laughing. I have never dated a guy who was to shy to even tell me that he would like to cuddle, let alone actually cuddle. He FINALLY hugged me. OK, this is WAY new to me. I am not used to getting to know someone mentally first.
His girls are precious. I love taking them to do things with us. My kids have really taken to David and all 4 kids get along phenomenally! There is something peaceful about being with David. Even if we are just watching TV.
You know, in previous relationships, I have this over-powering need to be with the guy that I am dating. But, with David it isn’t like that! I love being with him and talking to him. But I don’t have to see him to know that we are still in tune. I don’t even have to talk to him every day. Although, I do. A
You know, for quite some time I have been praying for a Christian man to come into my life. I prayed for purity and so much more. Now that I have it, I find it very hard to resist the urge to try to tempt him into breaking our purity vows. OOPS! I guess it is the tempress in me that says “I know I can have it if want it.” But there is the other part of me that says that it is really exciting to wait.
Anyways, this entry is for no other reason then to document that I am going to be married before the end of the year. Yes, I believe it in my heart. Yep… I have completely flipped my rocker this time!
I will actually update later, but I gotta get to the gym. If I do get married, I wanna look beautiful in my wedding dress and look hot for my honeymoon!
Take care and Peace Out!