I guess first things first, I'll explain a little about myself.  I'm 22 years old and fat! haha, well, most people who know me would say I'm just a little chubby... In all honesty I weigh 185lbs aaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh... that's so hard to admit.  Thankfully I look like I way 20lbs less than that.  Still big, yes I know.  So why the "love*life*skinny"? Well, those are the things that I want in my life.  My current situation is really twisted... I'll give the "shortened" version and if anyone would like to know more, let me know!  I'm sure there'll be times when I talk in more details about some of this stuff... just not sure when.  Okay, here goes nothing:

At 18 I decided I had enough of my families controlling ways and moved in with my friend Yvette for about a week.  I wasn't really comfortable there so I moved in with my best friend at the time: Carrie.  Right before I moved in there I had met a guy named Cori.  I thought he was gay, but turned out to be really wrong... we got into a relationship, um, I guess best friends with benefits because we never really made a commitment to each other.  We talked about marriage and stuff but nothing more than that. 

About four months after I met him, I moved in with Cori, who lived with his dad.  I started college, and worked a couple jobs (not at the same time!), and he had bought a house in the high desert.  We started to look for work up there, but we couldn't find anything that would cover the bills so he rented the house out in the meantime.  Well, somewhere along the way Cori's sister Jane had become involved in alcohol and drugs. Her and her husband separated and he had come to live here.  After a while their three kids (5, 3, & 1) came to live with him.  Because I wasn't working at the time I decided to baby-sit them.  That went on for several months and then they moved out.  Well, I guess Jane and Jack (her husband) had gotten into a fight and he went to jail so the kids needed somewhere to stay and someone to take care of them... I was the natural choice.  Well, here we are now, the kids are now 8 (Abby), 6 (Dana), and almost four (Steven).  Cori and I have become their parents... they're awesome kids!

Well, I would hate to disappoint with just that so here's the next part of the story: Cori had told me about this girl he used to know and was really in love with at one time.  She was considerably younger... um... 14 years younger to be exact.  Well, at the time she was under age so he couldn't be involved with her, but recently when she turned 17 I tried to contact her, even though she didn't know me.  I just wanted to see who this girl was and every time Cori talked about her I felt like he still really loved her.  I believe that if you ever find true love than you shouldn't hold back from it and if a close friend of mine had a chance at that I didn't want to be the one in the way.  So anyway... this girl, Christie, well, her brother had just moved in with us because he was going through a divorce (another loooong story!) so I went through him to meet her.  Well, she and I really hit it off.  We became as close as humanly possible in a very short time.  Most people though we were sisters.  She and Cori also re-hit it off and they had something going on... It was harder than I thought to let that happen so there were some arguments and tough times but all in all everything was going well. 

Well, Christie doesn't live here anymore, again, a loooong story that I'm positive I will touch up on in the future... I miss her soooo much but because of how everything happened I have hope that when she turns 18 on March 25th, she will be back.  People keep telling me that the bond she and I had was unlike anything they had ever seen... so if that's true, than she will be back!  Cori and I had a good chance to work everything out while Christie's been gone and if/when she comes back, things will be a lot easier to deal with.  I know that Cori isn't "the one"... he will always remain my best friend, but nothing more than that.  Well, this is looong enough already so I'll call it an evening...

For anybody who reads my diary if you see a date and time above the entry that means that I wrote it with pen and paper and later entered it on here... Just so you know!

until the next ~ Ness