| The Cliffs of Insanity |
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My mother and I aren't on the same page...and we haven't been since about the time I could dress myself. I've been told my whole life that I'm just like my mother and my sister says that's the reason we have such a hard time getting along. She thinks I'm a horrible person and an even worse mother. She basically thinks I'm a loser. The reason I know she thinks this is because she doesn't have a problem telling me she thinks this. But on the whole, she's the only one in my life I've ever really been able to count on. It's kind of a love/hate relationship. As long as I'm doing things her way, she loves me but the minute I get an independent thought in my head, well, you know how it goes....
She hates my husband and has no problem letting her feelings be known even though my husband goes out of his way to do things for her. She is constantly on my back about something... tonight it was the trash. It's supposed to go in the little bags and then in the big bag - not the big bag first. What the *&%$ difference does it make? Unfortunately circumstances in my life have made it necessary for my husband and I to live with my mother. I've been trying for 15 years to get out of my mother's house but circumstances keep bringing me back. Next time I get out, I'm going to live in a tree before I come back. But for now, it's a roof and a meal. I hate being in this kind of situation. I keep thinking that if I were out of the picture then things would be fine. But then I realize that I'd leave such a mess behind, I would never be forgiven. So, I have to clean up my mess and then... well.... see what happens. I had an interview with a placement agency yesterday. I'm praying something comes out of it. If not.... I just don't think I could handle another rejection. This is getting really old. Anyway... I'll stop griping for now.... until next time....
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