|.. tangled up in blue . //|
I WORK OUT!
okay. enough LMFAO, it's too early for party rockin'. sort of.
although it IS friday, and i do feel like doing a bit of wiggle-wiggle-wiggling. yeeha.
my cat is driving me up the fucking wall. you know that theory that pregnant women become super attractive to ther men, and the men just go ga-ga over them and can't get enough and all that? well, i am theorizing that the same holds true for cats, because my himalayan Sophie is pregnant and Sebastian can't keep his weird little cat dink under wraps. have you ever seen a cat dink? fucking weird shit. he's going to stress her into premature labor, i'm concerned. so concerned that i may have to find him a nice shed to live in until his surgery at the end of the month to get The Snip. i'll feed him, shut up. hating is bad.
everything is slowly coming together here in Amberland, except that my buildings are constantly dirty (somewhat resembling my always dirty no matter how often i clean house) and everything is broken. everything. if i find something that isn't going to need fixing i'm going to bust out my acoustic and sing Kumbaya. Todd & I are tackling the maintenance rooms this weekend, a sure to be fun task that i'm looking forward to with abundance. not. i have vodka in my freezer, so i'm strapped, but i get nauseated when i think about cleaning those rooms. there are four in total, and every one of them looks like a third world country, inhabited by only carpenters. it's like Hoarders. it's like a giant asshole picked up the room and gave it a good shake or three, and then put it down and left it. it's like i'm not telling tall tales here, folks, it's THAT bad. in retrospect, i am thinking that the vodka in the freezer will not be enough.
in other news, i hate that my son has started making friends. i hate it. this is the part where i am a bad mom and the guilt kicks in. i don't hate that he is getting older, well a little, but it's going to happen and i think i can handle it a bit. what i hate is the friends he chooses to spend his time with, now that he is old enough to want to invite them over and ask them to stay for dinner EVERY NIGHT and sleep over EVERY WEEKEND. NO. he has made friends with this little boy in our building, Sean, and the kid seems nice enough. i let them play outside together and even play vids together every so often, since if i don't cave every now and then all i will ever hear ever is CAN WE PLAY GAMES PLZ MOM PLZ! and i hate being the jerk who ALWAYS says no. i do stand my ground most of the time but i am not a superhuman and sometimes it's either let them play the damn games for a bit or bash my head in with a frying pan. and then they would need therapy and i can't afford that shit, even if i die i can't afford that shit. so they hang out, and it's fine, but i feel weird. i don't know this part. i don't have the particular knowledge and ettiquete to handle this stage and it freaks the tuna salad out of me. the kids parents are strange and i don't think his mother is very bright, she kind of has a cave-person vibe about her. they're not drug addicts or criminals so i guess that's a plus, but i don't know how to talk to them, or him for that matter, because our auras of parenting differ so incredibly vastly. i don't think Sean has ever had a slice of whole grain bread in his life, and i fear having him over for dinner because we eat vegatables here, like brussel sprouts and asparagus and peas, and i'm pretty positive he lives off of hot dogs and KD *shudder*. that awkward moment at the dinner table when the mini-guest doesn't like/know what anything is on his plate and wants to go home and then i have to deal with my confused child? no, thank you, i need a nap. plus, this kid is always dirty and doesn't seem to know how to wash his hands WITH SOAP before eating or touching any objects in my home. sigh. like i said before, i am not familiar with this and i want to crawl back under the rock of toddlerhood, when my sons only friend was me and that was cool and we ate our health food in clean, video gameless silence. do i hear a reality check knocking on my front door? fuck you, go away, i don't want any!
i'm going to try to make a concious effort to not slack and write with some degree of regularity. i forgot how soul cleansing it is to tell all, so to speak. also, i am funny! and i have funny things to share with you! and also some cute things that will make you go BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DAS SO KEYUUUUTE! and possibly clasp your hands together between yours breast/pectorals. herewego.
this is "officially" (bahahahahahahahahahahahahahdone) my newest favoritest band of ever. i have a giant tiger-sized crush on the boy wearing the circa-2001 silver bubble vest with no shirt under. he's like, 17, where and how did he get shapely abdominal muscles?! my god. i can almost hear the teenie-bopper cries of uncontained, horomone-drenched lust. it's like Bieber x 5. and that guy at the beggining who says Heart2Heart in that creepy ass voice with the acid-hit look on his face? they probably could have gone without that.
i want a baby monkey for my very own. that is all.
here is a picture of my new kitten.
isn't she a peach?! i'm looking particularily rugged, but i digress. SO CUTE! her name is Sawyer.
i AM the crazy cat lady.
in parting, i have to express my utter disgust and dissatisfaction that i pay unspeakable amounts of money for my cable tv every month and don't get the FX channel. why do stupid americans (no offense?) get to watch quality televivion and i get stuck with shite?! i need to watch American Horror Story, it looks like a fantastic series and i can't take many more episodes of Storange Wars. Teen Mom is OVER and J-Shore is about to be, i might have to start going on dates with my husband or actually talking to him, or something. merde.