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ok well i think things are getting better simply because i dont mind getting out of bed now. I was really sad for awhile because I moved here with the intentions of making a better life for me and my children and since I've been here I've been fired and dumped and I'm also not friends with the guy who dumped me. These are all 1'st for me and I wasnt sure what this means. I thought it was a sign that i dont belong here. But I wont accept that. I miss my home and my friends and I really miss my childrens father we have been together sinse we were 17 and I haveing a hard time with that I always wanted my family to stay together no matter what. But I dont know anymore. I never could picture my life without him in it. and now that its happening I feel hopeless. I guess for the most part he was a good man. we grew up together. My father hates him and it bothers me because he always puts him down(not in front of our children) but it sstill not right its not like he was the best dad ever or husbund ever. he's been married 6 times so what gives him the right to tell me who is good for me and who isnt. So about the guy who dumped me. He was just awsome and I really liked him alot. And even now that I know he doesnt like me I cant stop thinking about him I did call him and ask him why and he sent me a letter that had a list of reason's. I'am and always be " over thinker" but I only do that when I really care what someone thinks I guess he didnt get that. he said it doesnt establish trust. I did trust him and thats hard for me. then he said im reresponible because I work for my dad for free and I have 3 kids that need me to have an income and this is true but for now they have everything they need and so do I. and at the same time im helping my dad. and finally i live to far away this is the thing thats the most on point i do live like a half hour from him. but i just dont see why he would breakup with me because of that we're moving closer aty the end of this month. well anyway im so confused about this because i guess i thought he was cool and he was alot like me but i guess not because i wouldnt have disregaurded him for where he lives. so how do i get him out of my head?
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that will get easier every day. you need to find out who YOU are... to be comfortable being without a man [Nyao]
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12/12/2005 9:40:23 AM
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