Ok well this is new to me so....we will see how this goes... Life is not going so great for me right now.  I'm loosing everything that I have ever had.  But I'm also gaining the best friends that I could ever ask for.  I messed up really bad and now I'm paying for it.  I still can't seem to understand how Alex could do what he did to me.  I loved him so much and I was dumb enough to believe that he loved me too.  I've known him so long that I completely forgot that he is just a guy... just like every other guy I've been around.  I still can't believe that he would do that to me.  Am I really that horrible of a person to deserve this?  I'm really not a bad person... ask my friends.  I really am a good person and I don't deserve what people are doing to me right now.  I went to the school to pick up one of my friends today and while I was in the school someone wrote WHORE on the side of my truck.  I was so pissed that I almost cried.  I don't understand why any of this is happening to me.  I just want to be left and alone so I can move on and be happy again... if that is even possible after I've lost EVERYTHING!!!  I just want a chance to be happy again. 

      I have recently made the descision that I am not going to move out with my sister after Christmas.  I amd going to stay here with my mom because she really needs me right now.  Things will be better when Melissa is gone so I'm going to try to stick it out for a while longer. 

Always,

Ally