I had the most amazing yet overwhelming night last night....I sang last night for the first time my friends were there to support me yet I was still scared to death.
I almost chickened out but then something told me to JUST DO IT! And I finally did.When I first went up there I said something to before I sang I thought it would take the pressure off...But it didn't.My voice was shaking really bad and my hands were trembling too.When I sang the room went completly quiet and everyone was staring....I fealt so naked.As soon as I was finished I ran outside and just busted into tears...I was so overwhelmed with everything...as I was leaving everyone was clapping but I fealt like I did terrible.
All friends said I did really good but I still feel stupid but relieved at the same time.I dont know what I feel.But I just wrote a new song.That experience sort of helped me with it
"I feel chained,chained down when I wanna let out I feel small so small when I try to hold it out,theres nothing I can do its just something I cant seem to get through
But I wanna breakaway I wanna get my way I wanna feel it all today with nothing in my way,Its okay that Im not okay,Even if I need to be safe.
Everythings hopeless in this big mess Im not guiltless but I feel meaningless,I feel so stressed in my own head Im so open inside this dread,talking to myself through this lonliness Nothings pointless but I just cant get this.
Never again will I runaway from my shame never again will I underestimate my place Im only human but I'll be okay."