Im about to start my life long career as a cancer nurse.

I never even questioned if this is what I should be doing, until now.

Im not sure if this is a fair comparison, but I was just watching my sisters keeper.

Only now, after the decision is made am i considering that perhaps, this may be unbarebly hard. 

But, I know: I'll do it, and Ill love it, and I know I will be able to make people smile. And it will all be worth it.

I suppose Im willing to give up my own feelings of... ? comfort? for someone else. Someone I dont know. 

My head feels all cloudy lately. 

I'd like to be by myself. Lying on a beach, under the stars. Without having to consider anyone else. To be completely alone. 

Life presents you with so many great opportunities, so many great choices and experiences.

And at the same time, it presents you with so many difficult choices. But if things were easy, would life be boring?

I wish I knew how to meditate. To clear my mind of everything. To not think or worry about anything at all.

I wouldn't consider myself the kind of person who dwells and over worries things. 

But one person seems to take over my mind, strangely. 

No one else has ever consumed me to this same degree. Id like to say, it would be better to avoid contact with him. At least my head would be clear right? I wish I had that willpower.