I don't know why I feel the way I do right now. It's kind of confusing actually, because I am engaged to the most wonderful man I know. His name is Tim, and I don't know what I would do without him. For once in my life, I feel wanted; I feel loved. It's hard being 2 1/2 hours apart. I'm from Wooster, but I'm attending college in Dayton, which makes for a very long drive home on Thursday nights, and when I come back Monday nights. Things have been really stressful lately with classes though. I really do have a pretty full schedule this quarter. Math, Great Books, English, and Psychology. Then on weekends (Friday-Monday) I work 11-8 F,S,Sun, and 9-6 M, doesn't it sound like so much fun? Not really. I really miss being away from Tim. Especially in times like right now when I just want to be held. This weekend though we have agreed to just do something together. So probably, we will go to dinner and a movie. I just want to be able to spend time with him alone; just the two of us. You know what the weird part is, and I know that many people my age would never say this, but I'm honestly ready to settle down, get married, and have a family. A lot of people tell me that I'm too young, I need to get out there and live life first, but with me, I have already experienced a lot of things in my life, and I really do feel that I am ready for a family. I'm ready to give up everything that I have right now, to have a family. A lot of people tell me that I'm stupid for saying this, but in my heart, it's what I want more than anything else. And Tim is the one who I want to settle down with and have a family. He is the one that I want to spend the REST OF MY LIFE with. He is the one that I want standing at the other end of the aisle, who is right there holding my hand when I say "I Do." I don't want it to be anyone else. I have experienced so much in my life. I have experienced love and loss, joy and pain; I know what it's like to get up every morning and go to work. And with that, I know how to work my ass off when I need to. I want to feel the joy of holding my baby in my arms. I want to stay up late to rock my baby to sleep. I want to experience it all. I love college, but I would also love being a stay at home mom. I don't care if I have to struggle, I know that we could make it through it. Growing up, I never had the expensive things, or the shiny things, or the material things at all. What I had were two loving parents, who gave up everything they had to take care of my brothers, and sister and I. I had two parents who no matter what loved me unconditionally no matter how much I messed up or made a mistake. Yes, I may have been punished for something stupid that I might have done, but looking back, I know that I was punished for the right reasons, and it has made me a better person today. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn't mean that it isn't something that can be overcome. No matter what, anything can be overcome if you really want it bad enough.

Anyway, I don't know. I know it's late, and I do have classes tomorrow, so I guess I should be trying to sleep. So I guess that's what I'm going to try to do.

Night, Jodie