|If only life......|
as this week was one of the first weeks of school, i couldnt help but think of how good it felt that i was no longer attending school. or the fact that i will never have to attend school again....unless of course i get someone to pay for my grad school....even though i am still not working full time, my days are spent relaxing and getting little jobs done around here. i have also enjoyed hanging out with friends, staying up late talking, as well watching tv (i know a horrible thing to be doing, but at the same time relaxing for me).
last nite i got to hang out with my friend paige who is engaged to be married this coming july. i met her in college and we have become very good friends. such good friends that she asked me to be in her wedding, but i kindly refused as i dont have the financial part of being in a wedding as of date. im sure that she was very upset but i told her that any help that i can be to her, i am always willing. i like hanging out with her and her fiance. they are fun but i cant help but think about having a guy of my own. last nite paige and i starting talking about a man in my life, finding one and keeping one. let the record show that i am not very trustworthy of men lately, i gues i cant put the total blame on them, but its very hard for me to invision me being happy since all the other men in my life have made me miserable, on a general level that is. so this morning i am watching an episode of Dawsons Creek and watched as Joey, the main character, tried to figure out who her heart belonged to. she spent the summer on the boat with a guy who she feel in love with. the show ended with the two of them reading to each other as they fall asleep. this made me think of one of the best memories of the year gone by.
after a nite of drinking at the local townie bars, we come back to my friends house and we sit down on a couch to chill. of course being in the late of winter, i was a bit chilled and was all snuggly on a couch. snuggled next to a guy who in my heart was a great guy, someone that i felt connected to for some reason or another. he tells the best stories. his voice is so soothing that it makes me melt. i close my eyes and he starts in on stories. i feel asleep listening to him only to have him wake me up with a kiss on the forehead. this thought made me think about how much he meant to me and how comfortable he made me feel. i was starting to trust men again.
watching this show today made me think of this awesome nite and made me realize that this is something that i need and want in a relationship. its something when something so little as hearing someones voice tell you a story or read to you shows how much you mean love someone.
its the little things in life that i crave.......whos going to be that special guy who is going to read to me and make me dream as noone as ever dreamed????????????
until next time.................