caution: this entry is affected by it being 2:30 am
by me having read too much sharon olds (if you like poetry, read her. esp. you shazar)
and thought too much about... him.

i bought massage oil today
i tested it on my fingers
made sure it would glide across the skin of his back,
neck, smoothly, softly
the scent rose up at me and i smiled

thinking back
wishing that the patterns he traced on my skin
yesterday
were flourescent and
as beautifully, crazily obvious to everyone
as they are to me
dancing, tingling, still.

wondering how the scent
would mix with that of his skin
that i inhaled from his chest, neck, collarbone
pressed against my face
in sleep.

remembered in the stillness of the night
his sigh
pleasure, happiness,
his entire body molding into the curve
of my breasts, my hips
as i sunk farther into that comfort

we exhaled together.

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that wasn't supposed to turn into a poem, but i guess it did. i havent written one in ages, amazingly enough. anyway. i really did buy massage oil. i cant wait to try it with him. i also bought henna, which i am dyeing my hair with tomorrow. which should be fun. i hope i did it right. but my hair is brown, and i'm not bleaching it, so it's not like it can be too horrible. :). andrew and i are hanging out tuesday or wednesday. i'm getting up to volunteer at meals on wheels tomorrow. so i should go to bed soon.  i hope i lose my virginity in corvallis this year. i mean, before i go to reed. it just seems like the right, natural thing to have happend. we'll see. i really need to clean my room. i guess that'll give me something to do after i put in the goey henna stuff, and seran wrap my hair. (it has to set and keep warm for a while) so i might blow dry it on warm, too? not sure. it's kind of an ambiguous thing, there are lots of different recipes. we'll see. my head might blow up, or something :).  anyway, i better go to bed.

love love.