You declare that you dont understand. That it makes no sense at all.. but to me it makes perfect sense.
i am scared to see them fade.
for if they are gone then with it goes everything they mean.
it will leave me empty.
for the delicate lines across my body tell a story.
a story full of anger, hurt, hate, lonliness, shame...
the story of my life.
they remind me of the things i went through.
i remember each one vividly.
if you asked i could describe the situation for every scar.
for seven years now i have been recording my life upon my skin.
and for you to ask me to let them fade?
that would be losing a part of who i am.
no im not proud of them.
but i can not turn my back on the fact.
i am a cutter.
its what got me through.
you never knew what life was like.
in that old house.
up was down.
and down was up.
right was wrong.
and wrong was wrong.
everything i did ended up in punishment.
punishment i can not describe to you.
because you could not bear to hear it.
so i started to record my life.
i promised myself to never forget.
forget the things they did to me.
for if i forget then there is a possiblity for me to make the same mistake.
i keep the story of my life hidden.
no one has seen it.
no one will ever see it.
so im sorry that you cant understand this, and i am sorry that i cant stop for you. but to let them fade would make part of me fade as well, and if i lose any more of what i am there will be nothing left. i have already loss everything that i thought defined me, so please for the time being let me hold onto this. let me keep this part of myself for a little while longer. i need it. for without it i am sure to become nothing.