After a long.. eventful trip and a few stressful days of work, I am back. I haven't yet decided if this is a good thing yet, as the gypsy in me is now really itching to travel and move.

I spent the week in and out of the hospital, waiting for news concerning my father, but no news. 'No news is good news' as they say. Hope for the best, expect the worst, be prepared in either case. I'm still not sure how to feel towards him, after all these years of things being a total disaster. Everything in me wants to let go.. and there is a tiny part that can't quite let it all go. I want to scream and yell and fight... but he's not the same man, and I'm not the same girl either. I don't know if his change is simply because of the cancer.. and he'll revert to his normal self.. or if he's really a different person. I hope of course the change is permanent, but only time will tell. 

The other parts of the trip went alright I suppose, and I have found a new, yet very deep love for the mountains. I don't know why all of a sudden, but I am drawn to them and their mystery. I want to delve into their secrets and draw them out, hoarding them for my own. Something got inside me and made it's home within, and I can't quite seem to get the longing to go away. Maybe I really don't want to get rid of it...

I am going to attempt sleep now, I know I have more to say but this for the moment will have to do. Goodnight. Goodmorning. Whatever it is anymore.