Im just pondering the question of; where the hell are we going in this life?

I feel like I have NO purpose in life but to take care of others. Which Im kind of Ok with. My family needs some taking care of. But Im talking about my career, marriage, children, traveling. Im constantly wondering if I'll ever make it out of this town. If I'll ever make it to college. If I even have what it takes to do college. I feel like nothing is happening but everything is happening at the same time. I guess Im just feeling selfish. I get so jealous of Steve. He works for his family's store, drives a 2007 truck and worries about himself and no one else. I would love to experience that. Even if for a week. Have a car and a job that pays and just...leave and go where ever you please without a second thought of, "Oh-I have to clean the house...I have laundry to do...Im watching the kids today." It just seems never ending. And dont get me wrong. I LOVE my family more than anything and I am happy to help. I just feel so weighed down and I really feel like Im missing life. I dont want my life to just be met a boy, get knocked up and work at Wal-Mart all my life. I really want to do something that I will feel fullfilled and feel like I helped someone. Maybe a teacher...maybe a nurse. I dont know. I do know that Im dying for a break. Im dying for a break for myself and Im praying for a break for this entire family. Its so exhausting.

Ok, Im done complaining. I just felt the need to bitch for a few minutes.

-peace-

RIP Maggie's Uncle Bob....