.x. When I woke up this morning, I had forgotten that I had a boyfriend. It felt like I was back four months ago, before we got back together, before I even wanted us to get back together. I really felt for the first 5 minutes like I was in confused, in a different place. I don't really know why. I wish that I could just forgive & forget everything that happened up until now. Forget the fact that before we were 'official' the first time he was with some other girl, when he had acted like he liked me. And he wonders why I don't like Jen, when "she was a nice girl, what was wrong with her?" oh yah...let me think about that! And back to when he broke up with me, and all the time he told me we wouldn't get back with me, and that "oh yah, I still have feelings for you, but nothing like I used to". And when he told me that everything between us was completely physical. I know that that isn't him anymore, and that he isn't like that and that he does love & care about me. But I keep bringing it back in to my mind, "remember what he did Nicole, don't forget or you will regret it." I dont' know why I am writing this all, I feel ashamed for even thinking it, and I know he would feel hurt if he ever knew. Forgive & forget Nicole! Obviously I forgave him...but the forgetting part is what I am having trouble with. It was up to me, getting back with him... I took the initiative to tell him that I still missed him and wanted to be with him, and I just got lucky at that point that he felt the same way (or maybe it's he is lucky that I felt the same way..that is it, because he tells me all the time). All I know is, I could have never imagined loving or caring about him as much as I do. He is everything I could ever want in a boyfriend, in a best friend, in a relationship...he is perfect for me. We are the epitome of yin and yang , and I wouldn't have it any other way.

p.s. I did a little change-a-rooskie to my myspace, I think it looks spiffy! oh yah, and everyone should go to fat-pie.com and look on the left hand side wehre it says 'cartoons' and click it and watch the salad fingers cartoons! or any of them really...cuz they are all great, cuz then you would understand the picture in my myspace.