I was fat, unhappy, and apathetic.

Now I'm fat, unhappy, but my apathy is decreasing.

I have been sober for 2 days.  I can't believe how long it's been since I went two days without a drink.  I would go sometimes one day without a drink, but it's been forever since I've gone two.

And I haven't smoked a cigarette in two days either.  That's also a big deal because they make me smell bad.

I was drinking pretty much every day...lots and lots of beer at one time, lots of vodka.  I poured the vodka out; that's what my title for my diary is.  My mom called me the other day -- "Dad used your computer and found an almost empty bottle of vodka next to your desk.  It was full yesterday, and you're obviously hiding it from us."  I felt terrible.  I felt like I'd let the fact that I'm young excuse the fact that I've been drinking every day at all hours...sometimes showing up to work or class drunk, oftentimes so hung over in the morning time that I couldn't go to class.  My grades are suffering, there is a midterm on Friday that I'm not at all prepared for...I have let being a drunk take over everything else.  I have gained 20 pounds in the last six months due to mostly heavy drinking.  I couldn't stop...but I'm happy right now.  I'm sober, I'm happy, and I don't want alcohol anymore.

I made this diary so that I could connect with people who have also had similar issues.  Please feel free to leave me any advice or just to say hi.  And God Bless.