Guess what's awesome. Now, I'm actually going to use this as a diary instead of a really cryptic and often unsuccessful way to communicate with the boy that got away. Because, as his ulimatum-y email reminded me.. I actually am pretty happy.

so, I'm just going to jump in without further introduction or explanation. Keep up.


We had a date last night. And because of all previous entries, bet you didn't know that 'we' means my long-term boyfriend and I . Yup, that's right.  We'll call him..Man. So, Man and I had a date. This, right here, is why I love this man. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a difficult woman to love. I require mega amounts of attention. Money, gifts, jewelry, cars.. keep it. I've had it all.. and I was more miserable than I've ever been.  What I want, what I need and crave and desire is.. love, affection, a playful smack on the ass when I pass you in the hall. Make me feel sexy, safe, loved, cherished, desired.. and I don't care if we live in the New York sewer: Baby, I'm yours. 

Anyway, I've put him through hell, just to prove to my hole-ridden heart that it deserves to be filled with love. You know the drill, girls..push the man away just so that when he finally does say "Fine! I'll go" you can be all " see..I told you that you never loved me!!!" It's the broken girl mantra. So, after all that, he stuck around. Not only did he stick around, he can look back now and find the humor in the cliche' of it all, the absurdity and madness..it's behind us now, for the most part. Every once in a while, my insanity rears its ugly head. And when that happens he quickly calls me on my shit, and reminds me how far I've come. He's an angel, and he's my MAN.

I want to tell the world about him and how he makes it difficult for me to breath when kisses my shoulders.

I think that he's the one. And not the one one.. not the one before the ONE.. not the one who got away.. not the one who I really like and if I could just change this one thing one.. not the one that if I could just teach him how to give oral one... just, the plain old fabulous..look at me I'm in love ONE.


Yeah.. he's that one.

I'm going cause I'm done typing.


I'm 26 and he's 51.


See you tomorrow.