well, i met him in mallorca and i'll be perfectly honest with you, it wasnt love at first sight, but there was something in it. heres a fact about me, i like to party, i dont party alot, but when i do i party hard. and i like to dance with loadsa ppl kiss a few if they seem cool, good lookin, good dancer, and ive been dancin with them for atleast 20mins, however with Pete, when he came over to me, i took one look and kissed him full on, for ages, then danced with him like we were dating and had known each other for years. but we were two different people, from two different cities, in a completely different country to the one we lived in.
we stayed in palma, but went on a coach to BCM in magaluf, argh what a night. there was hardly any english people in palma so this group of english lads on the same coach as us was cool. and pete was amoungst them. singing football chants to some spanish people. then one asked me if i was english, and i thought it would be funny to look lost. so he said really patronisingly "are you english?" and my response, " YES I AAAAMMM", i think pete noticed me at that point, although i couldnt see him amougst his friends, because in the club he recognised me off the coach. so after we danced the night away, i ran off with becky, we'd lost kelly and decided we'd find her back on the coach, and she was there fast asleep. sittin on a seat behind her was pete, and me in my drunken state fell on top of him and chatted.i thought his name was ian or speed, and to be honest thank god it wasnt otherwise that wouldve been a right let down. i wont lie to you, because this is about the truth, i was 15 just about to turn 16 when i met pete, at this point he had no idea because i said i was 17. that was a massive mistake but i didnt think id see this guy again.its no excuse,and i dont even know why i lied, it was out of character. i ended up wrappin my beads around him ( i dont go out without a pair). we chatted and laughed and he had this flashy ball thing which i played with, then half an hour later he informed me it was very cool, and wanted to know where i had got it *laughs*.
i got off the coach in palma, and becky my sister ran off with martin ( pete's friend) and although i wanted to go somewhere, anywhere with pete, i stuck with kelly cos we were both starvin an we headed for a kebab place. pete came up to me as i was walking away, and gave me back my beads, i dont think he expected me to kiss him or anything, so i didnt. i just said goodbye. i thought that would be it, so i smiled at the cool guy who rocked my night.
The next day i didnt see him, but i knew becky was meeting martin, i was kinda envious that they had swapped numbers and pete and i hadnt but then why would i want the number of a southener who probably saw me as the girl from friday night in the blue and white polka dot top? when becky went off to meet martin, i lay on the beach scorching with kelly next to me. she was asleep so i popped on the ipod and lay there-thinking about pete. i didnt want to think about him, but i just was, and i had zero intentions of seeing him again because i wasnt into meeting some guy, having a holiday romance and gettin hurt at the end, cos u look bad and feel proper gutted. plus id convinced myself he wasnt thinking about me...
and that night i went out as usual, i danced with others but it was just a dance, forgotten the next day, except for the legendary name "roch". came home minus a sore head ( im the lucky bitch who never gets hang overs regardless of how much i drink) beach next day, on goes the ipod, and pete popped up a lil in my mind but it wasnt so curious or full on.
figured id wear brown cool top, pleeted skirt flip flops and as i danced around the room excited about going out again, beckys came in and said "del, petes just txt me, martin gave him my number, he wants to know if your coming out to night" argh i just grabbed her phone to check she wasnt messing around, and left it lik 20mins til i txt bk off my phone ( didnt want to seem to keen or anything lol) . so we'd arranged to meet in paradies "later" well whenever that was it took ages to come. i was dancin on the big platform with one of the guys i knew was petes mate, but pete was in the other club. it wasnt like a flirty dance, it was a "wheres pete at? whats he like?he said anything about me?" kinda dance.
Then he came up on to the platform danced next to me for like 5 secs, and next thing i knew we were kissing really passionately on the floor, to passers by it mightve looked like we were doing it, even my sister and kelly looked twice, they started throwing ice on him to get him off me. and failing that becky threw the whole glass, which still failed. until i decided we were acting a lil odd and stood up.we danced for a bit and made our way to the beach. lost in conversation i already knew he wasnt after one thing, which was a relief cos he wasnt going to get it anyway. we swam in the sea totally clothed and kissed, it was really warm, it was lovely and i think at that point, i knew this guy was a bit special.
we met the next night, then the next day and then again, and then before i left. i dont know why i didnt just tell him there and then that i wasnt 17, that i was younger, that i was a baby in comparison to what he thought, what id lead him to believe. it wasnt to trap him, or anything, it just kinda fell out. the evening before i was due to leave we'd arranged to meet, and we walked up an down the beach talking, we didnt kiss or hold hands, we were like good friends or soemthing. then we swapped email addresses, and i gave him the impression that i was cool with it being a holiday romance and it was good while it lasted. pretending i meant that was hurting. his reaction was "oh right, yeah cool" which i wasnt too convinced by but i didnt feel i knew him enough to judge it. we then just walked away and said "goodbye" "aurevoir" no kiss no hug, just a smile ish. the kinda smile i do when im trying to hide the fact that im hurting. i didnt know i was hurting, i thought i was a bit miffed that thats the last id see of him. the reason i didnt say i wanted to see him again or stay in really good constant contact was because i knew he was going off to uni, and i'd lied to him. what would he want with a 16 year "Northener".
Bex, Kell and i went to TexMex which we decided was the nicest restaurant ever and after id finished my fajitas, i burst into tears. pete has no idea about this. i wasnt crying about him, or the way i felt about him, i just didnt want to not see this person who atleast once, made my heart skip a beat. i didnt love him i just felt like there was something about him i couldnt quite grasp. becky suggested phoning him off her phone and asking to see him, so i ran back to the hotel, got her phone rang him *nervous* and asked him to meet me for a min if he wasnt busy, but it died before i got the chance to hear his reply. this is because both parties have to have credit to have a phone call. so i txt him and said " meet me outside the mango bar in 5mins if your not busy". i waited there for him, and than god he came. it was at this point i told him that i did want to stay in contact and chances of me really missing him were high because i was missing him at the thought of missing him, even though i was sat there on the wall kissing him.
i wont bore you with the whole " i went home and waited for his call." i didnt, i had my 16th party to go to literally as soon as i got off the plane so i partied abit, but i was shattered. youll be glad to hear that my party was super sweet, and is talked about alot. he text me when he got home, but i didnt read it til the day after, as i was likely to get thrown in the pool and i had no desire to carry my phone around me. so when i did read it, i was soooo pleased. he missed me too.
we talked on the net, and arranged for him to come see me. he didnt book it for a week or so because he didnt know what hours he was working. i knew at this point that i couldnt see him unless he knew the truth, and i wanted him to know the truth before he booked anything. so i just told him, straight out, no bullshit. and he respected me for the telling the truth, perhaps lost respect for me for lying in the first place, and was abit "disappointed" which sucked, but still he wasnt put off. and i didnt know what to do, i was shocked? i felt so relieved and i finally realised that i had feelings for him, they just came flooding through. not love, just something id never felt before and i liked it.
so ill cut the bit in the middle out, im still with him now, infact, he just left. and thats why im writing this because i am sitting here completely gutted. not because hes left, or i miss him. i dont miss him yet. i just dont know how i feel. a few weeks ago i thought i was in love, maybe i am. but now im at this stage where i have alot of emotions rolling around and i cant piece together what it is. but still, im his girl and we are good. im an affection seeker when it comes to him. he hates that sometimes so ive decided to chill it down. even though my excuse is i hadnt seen him for 6 weeks!longest weve been apart. i dont know when ill see him again, he goes back to uni in a week or so, so im not sure how much time he'll have for me. im just gonna get on with what ive got to do, and when he needs me ill be there. part of me feels like i wont see him again, so im just wandering if when i waved to him if it was the last time. but i believe him and i trust him, i know he feels the same about me because he travels hours and miles, not cheap either to see me. ive only done it once for him, so i think i owe him one. the balls in his court.