|Hidden in Plain Sight|
Seriously, I felt like strangling Shalin today. She is my best friend and I've never felt that way before, I'm not sure if it's just because I'm tired because I haven't slept properly in weeks or not, but she was really doing me head in. I don't think it's because I'm tired because I didn't feel that way about Chelsea or Lily, and I have been best friends with Lily for the longest. She was really quiet this morning and not talking to me which meant I was depressed but it is Chelsea' s birthday and I wanted to be happy for her, she is the youngest out of the four of us.
By around 11ish Shalin and I were talking and happier after finally awake, but at lunch time again I was in a mood with her because she has flaws and for some reason they bug me more then Chelsea's and Lily's do. Like in a morning at breakfast she'll always ask to share my chair, and I'll give her the bigger proportion and if I don't she'll ask me to move over a little bit more. But while we were in the computer tech room at lunch I asked to share her chair and I hardly got any, and when I asked her to move over a little bit more she said she can't because she won't have enough room.
Then when Lily was writing the script for English I asked if I could say a bit Shalin was saying because Shalin had said loads and I hardly said any and normally I wouldn't have minded but the teacher said everybody had to say around the same amount and then Shalin was like, no it will be better if I said it. I hate arguing with my friends so I didn't say anything, but it's getting too much to handle.
I keep up all this inside and this doesn't help anymore, because it's still not like I am telling everyone, and if it carries on this way I fear insults and my feelings will come out. And although that is probably a good thing, Shalin, Chelsea, and Lily are really the first proper friends I ever had and I've only known them around 18 months.
I was angry yesterday and I don't know why, I threw things across my room when I was trying to clean my bed up, but there just isn't room in my bedroom for both mine and my sister's possessions and I got really angry so I started to draw and fell asleep in my bed.
At least there are only just over two weeks left of school before Spring break but I just hope I can cope with Shalin next week when we go to France.