| My Life in a Nutshell |
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it been quite a long time for me to share something I was unaware that I felt soon anytime my old boyfriend will die and I will never able to feel being loved again as my youngest sister seems had a strong decision about me.
I just wanted her to understand that I am moving on and finding new boyfriend beside maybe it was too soon because I think I made mistake but things will get easy from time to time as I know that God will guide me no matter what I haven't post anything about Matthew lately and I know that I am not moving too fast , She doesn't realize what It was my new dream and hope that I one day Matthew will no longer worry about me. He will want be normal and I am letting him have this life. I am scared of being lonely once again and I know that . all along it was because I first wanted to introduce her to Bob he is nice person of course. It like new healthy relationship . but my sister Karol couldn't take it very lightly. But one day whole family will. God will help me through this for real and it was so surreal to me that time had come and that why I am prepared to know . but I am thankful that someone who is replaced is best thing I ever felt because He not there but I think his love is in my heart we been together so long and I feel letting him go as my dream will scatter and it will be okay as long I will remember butterfly will fly and then be re born just as it was part of him who had given me so much happiness and along it helps me feel that way. I always wanted to say that God knows I did right thing helping people was something I always say special things that God had touched my heart and He had stroke and that what happened to him. His body can't function anymore and I know it like any time his parent will call him and he will be with them. I understand death is not fair but I wanted him know that I been grateful with all the experience and all the relationship I shared with him and it like I moving on He been there in my heart no matter how awful he had done we had so much fun. Once I didn't hurt Bob o'dare Jr feeling, HE is special too He is quite same age as my sister in law because she is bit 46 yr old and so My sister Karol so young and did not understand why I decide this on my own beside it was my thoughts wanted her to meet him and get know him and grow friendship and so today I met her mother and his sister on video phone first time we communicated it was good thing. It was good that we shared and that why Face book is just something u want to share with others and that maybe that why she told me but I guess she agree and some disagree I n a way but that is alright . so , My mother look at me , I told her , why your sis had a feeling and so she just understand that too. SIgh .. maybe enough of the problem that need be go away for a while until , later on . I learned to make pumkin pie and crust today and I learned to commuicate with Him and his family I was thankful that he is there for me if it wasn't for raymond who couldn't be there for me at all because I am glad letting him go is how people wanted to see me happy and so She shouldn't boss me and told me to change it back like nothing will every happen . what is her point ? in few days ago I had to call and cancel memebership on discover card and so still need to wait by december 4th to know what the charge will be and It like I decided stop doing this like it was doing to me . wasting all the money for nothing . I thought that my nephew would love this magazine was wrong to do so . also on website long time and did not relize I forgot canceled it lst year. so got 48 dollar in return so that why 16 was spent on that , pretty sucker . so more later . hugs
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