I guess tonight is the time to let it all out. On February 11, 2007 I lost someone that i love very much and life jsut dont seem the same. My Grandmother died of cancer at the age young age of 69. She lived a very wonderful life. I spent the weekend with her 1 week befor she died and its then that i relized how much i missed her, I knew when i went home that weekend that it would be the last time me and my 2 children seen her.  Its been hard not had time to grieve and my daughter (11) has not come to the relization that grandma has gone, she is having a harder time dealing with it than me and i am having a very hard time. My son (9)  he is dealing with it better than any of us.  i jsut cant seem to let out how i feel, i have noticed that i am pulling away from relizaeion myself. all I hear is that im dealing better than eveyone thought, but tonight hit me that i really have not faced it all. I can cry a few tears but my chest starts to hurt and I shut right down, All i want to know is why do the ones we love the most have to go. God do i miss her and tonight is the night where i am really feeling it.  Please let her rest in heaven.   ...................................................................................