Simon Cowell demonstrating how the American Idol series is holding up lately.

So, I was around typing a paper for class and my mom comes in during a commercial break to come and fume about some kid on American Idol still being on the show. I don’t watch regularly, but I’ve heard about Sanjaya Malakar and how he’s staying on the show because of a website called VoteForTheWorst.com. Apparently, people are voting for the worst person on the show in an effort to overthrow the entire American Idol show. I found this interesting and decided to view the site’s objective myself, since I was coming from a rather unbiased perspective.

What I found…didn’t really shock me, or interest me in the slightest.

The site was started by Howard Stern (A pretty noble man, himself) in an effort to cancel the show because of it’s unfair practices. And, In addition to slamming the producers, the talent, and the contestants, they also have pretty poor servers that often get viewers a “Please Try Again Later” page.

So, the guys don’t like the show. Hey, I find no fault with that. As the saying goes, “Opinions are like assholes.” And since I’m a pretty open person, I’m willing to hear anyone’s side of the story.

…Except Britney Spears, because frankly, I don’t give a damn.

What gets me is how they tell you about “The Truth of the American Idol Auditions” seen at this link.

Now, I like to have faith in people. And I really hope the general public isn’t so fucking daft as to believe that American Idol is real. So, when the site starts the note on a sympathy card to all those thousands of kids with exceptional talent who never make it through, I have to suppress a smirk. FOX is generally pretty much on the money when it comes to making shows that rake in the billions, whether you like them or not. In short terms, FOX knows how to sell and so do the producers of American Idol. And if a 250 pound girl with a voice like an angel wants to get marketed in a thin society, for the most part, she loses. They’d sell better off with a mediocre blonde with big tits who can sing so-so; at least pubescent boys will buy the American Idol posters, screensavers and whatever the hell else they sell. It’s always been about making money, this is capitalist America, is it not? Talent, honesty, and virtue come after, if ever at all.

And let’s get real here, all “reality shows” do the exact same thing. It’s pretty much a general known fact that’s what they do in order to actually be interesting to the general public, get ratings, and bring in the cash flow. And to be quite frank, American Idol ISN’T hiding anything from the American public about it’s practices. Don’t believe me? Go on the site and click on the Audition Release Form which is always left posted up by the AI site. What they keep hidden from the general public is how they run the process…the successful formula by which the show rakes in the billions. And I hate to tell you, ladies and gents, not too many reality shows (or any television show, for that matter) are willing to share with you their tricks of success. Because, then we’ll all be sitting around with 20 billion more rip-off’s of Survivor, Big Brother, or both.

In a rather clear print and language (perhaps a bit too difficult for those below a fifth grade reading level to fully comprehend), the lawyers of American Idol and its producers clearly lay out an extremely honest depiction of what could happen to you on the show and what their intent is:

To sell.

Idol blatantly states that they’ll use your image in whatever way they want and by signing their contract, you give them permission and right to slander, misrepresent, embarrass, or straight out encourage public ridicule against you in their contract. They claim the “unrestricted right to edit the context and text of the program in any form.” When talking about the show’s marketing strategies, the damn contract even says that they’ll use any material in any way whatsoever to promote the American Idol show, it’s publicity and it’s marketing team and “for any other purpose, throughout the universe in perpetuity.”

I'm not big into legal shit, but “throughout the universe in perpetuity" sounds like some pretty serious shit to me.

But really, let’s take a minute to cry for the pissy kids that didn’t make it through. Because it was SO wrong of the producers to not pass them through in the first place. How DARE AI say these horrible things about them and completely misrepresent them! How could they?

Oh yeah, that little Audition Release Form that those pissy kids signed without reading thoroughly.

…If these people didn’t appreciate being misrepresented by a show whose sole intent is to sell, perhaps they should have actually read the contract before they signed it. No one bent their arms and forced them to audition, they did it of their own free will and subjected themselves to possible ridicule simply by auditioning in the first place. And who’s fault is it really that they didn’t read the print which clearly and purposefully (logically, for the huge team of lawyers the show’s got behind them) stated that they could possibly be “misrepresented” or “embarrassed”? Or that the portrayal of their character could be “disparaging, defamatory” or of an “unfavorable nature”?

If you ask me, sounds like some idiots should read the fine print before they sign it. Not that I agree with the show and all of it’s practices. I’m an extremely talented musician who’s been urged on for YEARS to audition for this show. But I know the show isn’t meant to do some royal justice in the music industry to one deserving individual; It’s to make the billions of bucks it does. So what do I do when the auditions come to town each year?

I audition for local gigs. I audition for musical theatre shows. I sing at weddings, funerals and at all kinds of other functions. I get my name out there by working at it. And I get turned down all the time for people who “have the image” but can’t sing for shit. It’s called marketing. It’s a part of the music industry just as much as being lazy is a part of being an American. But, I take the losses with the wins and keep trying to do things the traditional way. Because I’d rather be represented my way than to subject myself to being represented THEIR way. And if I don’t make as much money in a year as an American Idol does in one sitting, that’s fine with me. Because those other MILLIONS of kids didn’t make a damn dime while they were out waiting in lines to get rejected..

So, my attitude isn’t one of “Fuck American Idol!” or “OMG I LUV AMERICAN IDULL.” It’s merely one of “Know the facts for yourself.” I believe in learning for yourself, doing research, and being educated about your decisions.

Is the show flawed? Yes. It’s biased and for the most part, a horrible representation of the struggles of being a real musician and the auditioning process.

Do I think people should sabotage the show? No, why spoil something that could potentially benefit someone on the show with actual talent? Or for the many families that actually enjoy watching the show together because of it’s “family oriented” appeal?

I guess what I’m saying is that I wish the public would make themselves more aware of things like…facts.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch the WWE and pray to Jesus no one really gets hurt, since wrestling is about the only reality on TV today.

/sarcasm