Chapter Twenty-Two:  Long and Strenuous Road to Self Redemption <3

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dear Aerith Duke:

It's been so long since I wrote you.  No cell phone till next month, I don't know which day.  It''s cause I broke someone else's home phone, and now I wish I didn't with fucked up regret.

I knew what I had....just never thought I'd be punished for the murder of 2 home phones.  :'(

Seriously.

Okay, I was on the nearby computer a while ago and decided to switch to this one (Sorry about that).  I already did my meeting with my caseworker, and now I gotta deal with fucking strangers giving me my fucking medicine (Bad fucking idea, in my opinion) and now I gotta control my anger......which, to be fucking honest with you, is controlling me.  The only streak I kept without cursing or anger was for 2 weeks.  How does anyone keep such a little ass streak like that when they know damn well they can do goddamn better?!  How much more can anyone take before I'm a future one girl posse (a crazy one girl posse in the psych ward eternally)?  If my time in public is short, how can I make it longer without risking my sanity to turn to insanity?  Changing me is the only answer.  And the fact that only changing me and my ways is going make grandma and some other people in my life change their minds about me.  First, I must change my thoughts to positive.  Then, try to clean my room for the rest of the month without being told (among other chores).  Then, try to be silently persistent.  Last, but not least, do all those things to prove all people LIARS!  That's all.  If all those things can be done, then the hell with everything else, which can fall in line themselves.

Doing Cafe World right now.  These college library computers are so damn slow I need my laptop screen fixed and try not to let people stand in my way again.  I am not going to let my fucking life stand in my way!  Ever again!  You hear me!

Love,

Maverick Swaniel Harrienger